WHAT I’VE AT79 LEARNED
Twenty-six years after TV patriarch Danny Thomas’ death, his daughter Marlo still makes room for Daddy. “When my father died, I got a letter from Mike Nichols, and it was the best advice,” Marlo reveals. “He said, ‘All the things you wish you had said, all the news, the thanks, you can still tell him — because the people we love stay with us.’ ”
That’s only one of many pieces of wisdom Marlo has attained over her life (she turns 80 on Nov. 21). “My biggest life lesson is you should really stick to what you believe in,” she told Closer at the Paley Center for Media’s recent event Better Than Ever: Actresses Are Fighting Ageism — and Winning in NYC. “Everyone wants to tell you how to do things, and it’s really important that you not give up on what you believe.”
For Marlo, that means staying active. “I’m working on a TV show with [Mike Nichols’ former comedy partner] Elaine May, and I’m excited about that,” she says. “I’m just continually creating and being productive and having fun.”
She’s not letting age stand in her way. “It’s never too late to fulfill a dream,” says Marlo, who has five stepkids with husband Phil Donahue. “A lot of women have raised families, which is a great dream to have, but once their children are grown up, they look around and are like, ‘I’d better figure out something else here — the dream is over.’ So you have to find another dream.”
IRREPRESSIBLE STAR LOOKS BACK WITH GRATITUDE — AND FORWARD WITH HOPE
FREE TO BE YOU AND ME
Her relationship with Phil, whom she wed in 1980, continues to be dreamy. “We just like to hang out and order in,” she says, citing a recent night where they ate takeout spaghetti, drank wine and watched Jerry Seinfeld’s new Netflix special. “For us, it’s just being spontaneous.”
She refuses to let any naysayers get her down. “If you believe what everybody else says about what you should do because you’re female, a certain age, too short or too fat, then you might as well never get out of bed in the morning,” she says. “You have to create your own facts.”
That’s what Marlo did when she produced her own sitcom, That Girl, in 1966 and blazed a trail for single women on TV: “A lot of women are looking for leadership, when the leadership is in them. Not enough women see that in themselves.”
Marlo’s optimism comes to her naturally. “My dad used to say I was born with rose-colored glasses on, and that’s just who I am,” she says. “What I’ve found since I’ve gotten older is that gratitude has become a very important part of my life.”
It’s also become a part of a personal ritual. “Phil and I have these big windows, and when I open the shades in the morning, sometimes I look out and think, ‘I am so grateful to live in this world. And that I’m living with a man who loves me, and we’re healthy,’ ” she says. “Gratitude can give you some juice back.”
As for the future, Marlo remains eternally hopeful. “Maybe it’s my optimistic side, but I believe you have to keep dreaming,” she says. “That’s what gives us life.”
— Bruce Fretts, with reporting by Lexi Ciccone