HEART TO HEART
The funny star opens up about marriage, fatherhood and his greatest regret
Charles Grodin talks to Closer about his career, family and fatherhood.
Since his breakthrough role in 1972’s The Heartbreak Kid, Charles Grodin has made audiences laugh… and occasionally wince. From bantering with Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show to hosting his own CNBC talker, the actor’s droll wit has carried him through. But it also gets him in trouble “all the time,” Charles, 83, admits to Closer. “Happily, my wise-guy impulse has mellowed and I’m not as bad as I used to be.” He’s just as funny, though. As he celebrates 60 years since his first TV role and his upcoming film The Private Life of a Modern Woman, he talks to Closer about marriage to his second wife, Elissa, 63, being a dad to his son, Nick, 30, and daughter, Marion, 57, and what he learned from his relationship with his late father. — Gregg Goldstein
It’s great to hear you’ll be on the big screen again! When did you first get bit by the acting bug?
In high school I performed a speech from Julius Caesar in class, and my teacher kindly suggested I pursue acting. Later, when I saw Montgomery Clift in A Place in the Sun, I was hooked. I left college and moved to New York, where I studied acting for 10 years and drove a taxicab.
How was the journey from there to making it big in Hollywood?
Arduous and lucky.
You won an Emmy for co-writing 1977’s The Paul Simon Special and an American Comedy Award for acting in 1993’s Dave. So tell us: What makes you so funny?
No idea. My wife, who’s a children’s author and a mystery novelist, says I can’t help it.
What do you think is the funniest thing you’ve ever said or written?
I like the boxcar scene Bob De Niro and I improvised in Midnight Run. Actors do like to improvise.
Is there a role you are most grateful for?
Lenny Cantrow in The Heartbreak Kid. I consider [director] Elaine May my patron saint. She’s brilliant, and we’re still close.
Give us the inside scoop on your most famous on-screen romance — with Miss Piggy…
In between takes on [1981’s] The Great Muppet Caper, I once asked her if she wanted to [go over] lines. Later, [her handler] Frank Oz told me I was the only actor to ever ask a Muppet if they wanted to run lines.
You’ve been a best-selling author, a talk show host…
Writing is probably my favorite endeavor. And as my removal from being president of my fourth grade class for “incessant talking” attests to, I never seem to run out of things to say. So, the talk show was a natural fit.
Who is the one person you always wanted to interview but haven’t?
My dad died unexpectedly when I was a teenager, and we were not on the best of terms. I’d love to be able to sit down with him and chat.
What were the issues between you two?
We loved each other, but had a hard time getting along. We were both bullheaded, strong-willed and somewhat intransigent. The things we butted heads over were fairly insignificant, but they caused a rift, and we resorted to communicating by letter — even while we were living under the same roof. The fact that our relationship ended this way is the main regret of my life. [I wish] I could sit down with my dad to put things right.
Sorry to hear that, but you seem to have a great marriage and two nice kids.
Love and work are the two fundamental
“Sports
are a metaphor:
work hard, put mistakes behind you and step up to the plate.”
— Charles (who says he bonds over sports with son
Nick, seen in 2005)
aspects of life. I’ve been very fortunate in both — and willing to work hard.
In the mid-’90s, you gave up acting for a time to be a stay-at-home dad, right?
When my son started school, we decided to stay put in Connecticut as a family. That’s how the idea of a talk show came about. Since he was in grade school, I don’t think I missed any of his games.
What’s your secret to being married for 33 years?
The willingness to compromise, and the ability to listen.
Does she make you better?
Ideally you end up with someone who rounds you out as a human being. By nature I am overly intense and narrowly focused. I think she helped me become aware of things that weren’t even showing up on my radar.
Have you enjoyed being a public figure?
It allows you a platform to try to do some good. I got very involved in advocacy for prisoners, and was fortunate enough to help reform [New York’s] Rockefeller Drug Laws, just because I had a talk show that dealt with social issues.
You’ve accomplished so much. What do you still hope to achieve at age 83?
A longer life!