Spectacular result

“It’s getting worse,” Cy the Cynic grumbled to me. “Minnie got me with two ‘ spectacular’ plays in the same deal — one for each eye, I guess.”

Minnie Bottoms, my club’s senior member, wears old bifocals that make her mix up kings and jacks, often to her opponents’ dismay. Cy has been Minnie’s chief victim. He showed me today’s deal from a team event.

“Both Souths played at four spades,” the Cynic said. “When my teammate was declarer, he ruffed the second club and took the A- K of trumps — and East discarded. South lost a trump to West’s queen, ruffed the next club and drew trumps; he had none left. He took the top diamonds and hearts, but East won the last two tricks with the queen of hearts and a club. Down one.

“Minnie was declarer at the other table,” Cy went on. “At Trick Three she led ... the jack of trumps.”

“Thinking it was the king,” I laughed.

“I was West,” Cy said. “I took my queen and led another club, and Minnie said it was her lead! After we got her straightened out, she ruffed and led ... the jack of hearts!

“My partner won and couldn’t profitably lead a fourth club. Minnie could ruff in dummy, preserving her own trumps. When partner led a diamond, Minnie won, drew trumps and claimed.”

Cy is sure that Minnie’s eyeglasses are a con job, and she’s an expert disguised as a little old lady. He may be right. Minnie found the only sequence of plays to maintain trump control and avoid losing four tricks one way or another.