Cy’s job history

Cy the Cynic’s former occupation, if ever he had one, is a mystery at my club. Cy won’t talk about it, except to give gag answers to queries.

“Cy, did you work in a pillowcase plant?”

“Only until it folded.”

“How about a keyboard factory?”

“They said I wasn’t putting in enough shifts.”

“Were you employed by a calendar maker?”

“I was fired for taking too many days off.”

“Were you a pig farmer, Cy?” “For a while, but I got disgruntled.”

When I watched today’s deal in a penny game, Cy was disgruntled when it was done. As South, he used the favorable vulnerability to toss in a featherweight weak jumpovercall. North raised to four spades even though his king of diamonds looked like a wasted honor. ( He might have done well to try 3NT.)

West led a diamond, and Cy ruffed East’s jack. He led a trump to dummy’s ace, ruffed the king of diamonds, drew the missing trump, led a club to the ace and returned a club.

West won with the jack and cashed the king.

Cy had hopes of making his game. West had to lead a heart. If he led a diamond, Cy would get a useful ruff- sluff. If West led the five of hearts, the Cynic would play low from dummy. East would take the king and would be end- played. If West led the ten of hearts, dummy would play the jack, and when East took the king and returned the six, Cy could prevail by playing his seven.

Unfortunately for Cy, West was Ed, the best player in my club. After a modest pause for thought, Ed hit Cy with the QUEEN of hearts. There was nothing Cy could do about that. He lost two hearts and went down.