Questionable mom enters the family
Dear Annie: My brotherin-law, “Ted,” and his wife decided to call it quits over the holidays after being together since high school (about 25 years). Their relationship was very strained and was more of a roommate situation than a marriage for at least 15 years, getting worse every year. His wife moved out of their house in February, and he immediately went on dating sites. About four months ago, he started seeing a woman he had met online. Before they even met, she was sending him racy photos and text messages. He is now completely hooked on her. He doesn’t have any kids; she has four, from three different men. All the kids, at one point or another, have had issues with self-harm or depression. We’ve witnessed the mom giving one of her children alcohol.
She and Ted are already planning on moving in together. She lives about two hours from here. She won’t be moving in until December, but she has asked whether the 16-year-old girl can move in with Ted now, before school starts, so she doesn’t have to switch schools halfway through the year.
Am I being unreasonable because I don’t want to support this? I think it’s a huge mistake for the family to move in with my brother- in-law, but it’s not my place to say. My biggest concern is that a 16-year-old girl would move in with a man whom her mother barely knows. My brother-in-law would never hurt her or touch her, but still it seems inappropriate. Am I reading too much into this? My husband is extremely upset with me for not being supportive of his brother’s relationship but does see there is something wrong with a child’s moving in without her mother. Extremely Concerned
Dear Extremely Concerned: This situation is wonky every which way. If your husband can’t see that, he’s got his head in the sand. What concerns me the most is the well-being of all of this woman’s children. I encourage you to document and report any maltreatment to your local child protective services agency. Visit https:// www.childwelfare.gov, and click “Topics,” “Responding to Child Abuse & Neglect” and “Reporting.”