New Year’s resolutions make us feel bad about ourselves

So, what is it about New Year’s resolutions? I don’t make them. But as a kid I was always going to lose weight (I laughed at the overflow crowd at Weight Watchers, but by February you could definitely get a seat).

I also vowed to exercise more and did, for years, getting up at 5 in the dark and cold to go running when my kid was in school. And I really meant to stop complaining about the garbage bags (OK, they’re the nice ones you can buy now with festive watermelons or sunflowers on them) my husband keeps his important papers in. Don’t ask.

I was even going to stop asking my son who he’s talking to on the phone to or what friends he went out with last night (it’s truly time to stop, he just graduated from college and now has a nearly sixfigure job in NYC).

But what is it about us that thinks we can always do better? Why are we not ever enough?

It’s something I’ve always struggled with. Even when I lost 20 pounds due to a serious illness, I wasn’t thin enough. And when I gained it all back, hah, knew you’d do it. You can never be thin enough.

Or when I got my memoir about my son published. Well, it wasn’t Random House.

But it’s something we do to ourselves. Maybe we weren’t raised by parents who felt good about themselves, so were always trying to make us better?

Improving oneself isn’t a bad thing. Where would I be if I’d given up on my book when I couldn’t get my it published by a major publisher? Or decided I couldn’t run fast enough so maybe I should take up swimming (though I got mad when I couldn’t do my 32 laps in 20 minutes anymore, either).

It’s a human thing. Animals don’t worry about this. They just work to eat enough and sleep enough and sometimes, take care of their kids, and not get eaten by something bigger.

I suppose it’s what makes us keep trying. We probably wouldn’t have cures for some cancers or cars that drive without drivers.

But there is this thing always pushing us that we could be smarter, or trendier, or younger-looking. Maybe I’m just talking about me.

But why do we do this to ourselves? It certainly doesn’t make us feel better.

But here’s what a friend recently reminded me (thank you, Mr. Rogers). “I like you the way you are.” Maybe that’s all we have to remember.