Humor

My sister’s fast-paced life caused her to miss an important detail.

Go on, laugh a little at the stories and jokes Country readers tell.

You could say my sister Lavada is a farmer’s wife who lives in her SUV. Whenever I talk to her, she’s in her car, either picking up her grandkids from school or running to the store to buy parts for the farming equipment. At noon you will find her delivering lunch to her husband, Les, out in the field. This is where she probably picked up the little black and orange hitchhiker.

Lavada is always in a hurry. A couple of weeks ago she had to run to town to get a part for the combine. Les told her that he absolutely needed the part to harvest the grain. So when she opened the door to her vehicle and noticed a large spider web right under the driver’s dash, she ignored it, got a broom and swept the spider web away. The part was more important than her fear of spiders.

Later she told me she was a little nervous on the drive into town knowing there was a spider loose in her car. She prayed it wouldn’t suddenly appear on her head while she was driving. She tended to her business and hurried back to the field to deliver the part for the combine.

The next day she had a meeting with her book club, but first she had to go to the bank. Running to her

SUV, she threw open the door and saw a smartly placed spider web below her steering wheel. Again, she brushed the web away. Out of the corner of her eye she thought she saw a flash of black. She prayed it wasn’t a venomous black widow spider.

Oh well. She told herself she’d take care of it at home that evening. But the drive to the bank made her nervous. She visualized a black widow hanging inches away from her. What if it landed on her? She told herself to stop thinking about it.

Lavada hustled into the bank, stood in line and joked with other customers. When her turn came, Lavada strolled up to the counter.

The teller looked kind of startled and said, “Lavada, there’s a black widow spider sitting on your shoulder.”

My sister looked over at the spider and flicked it off. The spider flew through the air. The bank was full of customers, so you can imagine the screaming. A brave soul found the offending creature and smashed it.

Lavada skipped the book club. She drove straight home and bug bombed her car.