Half-century of friendship ends
DEAR ABBY >> For 50 years, I had a close career and personal friend I'll call “Ellen.”
Ellen was with me through the tragic loss of my son and, six weeks later, my very ill husband. I couldn't have gotten through it without her.
After being alone for 17 years, I met a man in the construction trade. He has his own business and is a fine, intelligent, kind, considerate man. He was married for 51 years; I was married for 28. We are four years apart in age and have a deep, abiding love and understanding for each other.
Abby, immediately upon meeting him, Ellen rejected him and abruptly ended our friendship! She thought, “because of my education,” I should be with a lawyer or doctor. I recently married this wonderful man and let her know. No response. I was deeply hurt.
It has been six years, and I have other good friends.
My husband's six children are lovely to me. Yet I remain puzzled by what Ellen did. I was so close to her, her family and her other friends. I regret I couldn't tell her family and friends this parting was not my choice. Do you have any advice? — Puzzled in Pennsylvania
DEAR PUZZLED >> If you have described Ellen accurately, this dear friend was an elitist who judges people by a far different scale than you do. She may also have been upset that, after so many years of your depending on her, you were finally getting your emotional needs fulfilled elsewhere. PLEASE, don't waste another minute looking backward. Enjoy the here and now and spend no more time dwelling on something you cannot change.
DEAR ABBY >> When I was leaving work last Friday, I caught two co-workers in a passionate kiss. The elevator doors were just about closed, but I waved my hand and they opened back up. I averted my eyes before they realized I was there and jumped apart. Because I was in shock, I made some nervous small talk and did not acknowledge the elephant in the elevator.
My issue is they are both upper management and married to other people. I have no plans to “out” them, but I'm confused about how to interact with them going forward. — Should Have Waited In The South
Columnist
DEAR SHOULD HAVE >> This is a minefield, so tread carefully and do not say a word about what you saw to anyone. Your respect for those two may have diminished, but it is vital — for your own sake — that your behavior toward them remain the same as it has always been. It may take a large dose of amnesia on your part to accomplish this, but it is what I am recommending.