Daily Breeze (Torrance)

Cultures will clash at wedding

- Dear Abby

DEAR ABBY >> I have a 25-year-old niece, “Meadow,” who embraces the hippie lifestyle. She's kind and sweet and loves everyone. She has also opposed “the Establishm­ent.”

She's heavily tattooed and has several facial piercings and thick underarm hair.

My son is the complete opposite. He is in the business world and is very profession­al in his manner and dress. He's getting married in three months to a lovely girl. Meadow is invited because she wanted to come. My son is nervous about her coming to the wedding. He doesn't know Meadow that well. They were close as kids but haven't seen much of each other in adulthood.

My son is worried Meadow will wear an outfit that will display the tattoos and her bushy underarm hair. He's afraid she will be a spectacle, and her appearance will become the focus of the wedding and not his lovely bride. He's also worried someone will ridicule or comment about Meadow, and he will then have to defend her, causing a disruption. None of us are close to Meadow or feel comfortabl­e with her appearance.

— Conforming In

Carolina

DEAR CONFORMING >> The time to have raised these issues was before the invitation­s were sent out. If Meadow is already invited, it would be terrible to disinvite her.

If someone comments on her appearance, I'm sure it won't be the first time she has heard it. If it happens, resist the urge to rush to her defense. Simply explain calmly that Meadow is there because she's family.

DEAR ABBY >> I've been regularly attending exercise classes that are offered with the membership at my gym. One of the classes I particular­ly enjoy is taught by a very good instructor who is friendly and welcoming. She makes a point of speaking to everyone in attendance.

I have noticed over the last few weeks she has become decidedly unfriendly toward me. She avoids speaking to me, even though she speaks to everyone else in the class. This has been upsetting, and I realize I'm becoming depressed about it. I am not aware of anything I have done to provoke this.

Should I ask her if there was something I did to offend? Should I say nothing and continue attending her classes? Or should I just join other classes that are offered at my gym? I occasional­ly see her participat­ing in other exercise classes I attend, and sometimes we are in the gym working out at the same time.

— Alienated Gym Guy In

Georgia

Columnist

DEAR GYM GUY >> I am a firm believer in the adage, “seek and ye shall find.” Because this teacher seems to have cooled to you and you alone, pose that question. Then be prepared for an honest answer.

www.DearAbby.com

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