On loyalty — Your loyalty is lacking

I’ve been thinking about loyalty lately.

Loyalty is usually defined as giving or showing consistent support and allegiance to a person or institution. When we talk about loyalty, we are usually talking about being loyal to a friend, a leader, a country, a religion, a company, or a brand. In other words, when we think about loyalty, we tend to think about loyalty as somewhat of a one- way street. One person is loyal to something or someone else.

I recently read Jonathan Haidt’s book: The Righteous Mind — Why Good People are Divided over Politics and Religion.

It’s one of the best books I’ve ever read.

In it, Haidt lays out six different centers of morality that different people use in determining right and wrong: care/ harm; fairness/ cheating; freedom/ oppression; loyalty/ betrayal, authority/ subversion, and sanctity/ degradation.

He posits that loyalty is one of the core human virtues we use to make decisions. Haidt puts forward research showing that liberals tend to more heavily use the first three, conservatives tend to use all six somewhat equally, and libertarians almost exclusively use the freedom/ oppression value.

Conservatives tend to think about loyalty in terms of being loyal to one’s country, one’s religion, one’s corporation, or one’s family.

Liberals tend to view loyalty with suspicion, noticing how often harm can be done to someone in an “out group” in the name of loyal service to the “in group.”

Conservatives sometimes view liberals as moral failures for a lack of loyalty to leaders, institutions, or symbols.

But I believe all of us, conservatives and liberals, tend to think about loyalty wrong.

I’ve noticed how leaders often demand loyalty from their subordinates, but rarely show it in return.

Corporations can demand loyalty from their employees but rarely reciprocate by placing their employee’s best interests as an equal value to making a profit. Dictators always demand absolute loyalty from their lieutenants and citizens while never showing any loyalty, gratitude, or forbearance in return. Throughout history, horrible atrocities have been carried out in the name of loyalty to a leader, a country, or a god.

This kind of loyalty is a bit hollow and sometimes destructive. It is never sustainable.

But what if the problem isn’t with loyalty, but simply our concept of what it means to be loyal?

What if, instead of the unidirectional view of loyalty — where it is one way- we changed our perspective? What if loyalty was meant to be much bigger — and much more reciprocal?

What if we do indeed owe consistent support and allegiance not just to our family, church, employer, or nation — but to everyone? What if the story of humanity is discovering that we do better when we are unwilling to betray anyone, whether a friend or a foe?

As 2020 has shown, we as human beings are intricately connected, from Wuhan to Woodland. Our individual choices don’t just affect us but have a huge impact on the other human beings we share this world with.

We owe so much to so many: from the food we eat to the medications we take to the transportation we use to get around to the technology we use to communicate to our very existence. All of us need each other. All of us are connected.

I think loyalty could be one of the most important moral virtues we orient our lives, corporations, and societies around — but it only works if it is mutual. Imagine what our economy might be like if corporations were as loyal to their employees as they want their employees to be for them. Imagine if political leaders were willing to give their lives in service and subordinate their interests for the sake of those they lead.

I believe loyalty to a leader or organization or nation or religion is too small. What if our loyalty was to not just a leader, but to each other? What if our loyalty wasn’t just to symbols, but to reality? What if we weren’t loyal to a flag, but to every single human that flag represents? What if our loyalty wasn’t just to our racial, political, or national tribe, but to all people everywhere? What if we saw ourselves with a moral obligation to show consistent support and allegiance to everyone? What if we went even further and were loyal to our planet — caring for the place that has provided so much for us?

I believe big loyalty could light the way to a more beautiful world for us all.

I believe loyalty to a leader or organization or nation or religion is too small. What if our loyalty was to not just a leader, but to each other?