JUDGE TALKS MENTAL HEALTH STRUGGLES
In 1972, just 18 days after he was selected to run for vice president with Democratic Sen. George McGovern, Thomas Eagleton was forced off the ticket. The issue? Years earlier, Eagleton had been hospitalized and treated with electroshock therapy for depression. The disclosure of his mental health history was a blow from which the Missouri senator could not recover.
Eagleton’s torpedoed candidacy has been a cautionary tale for elected officials ever since, says California Superior Court Judge Tim Fall, who serves in Yolo County. But rather than remain quiet as he approached his own reelection season last year, Fall came out with a book that detailed his decades-long struggles with anxiety and depression.
As it turned out, Fall was unopposed for another sixyear term in office. But it was a previous challenge for his seat, in 2008, that had triggered his most difficult bout with mental illness. That campaign forms the backdrop of “Running for Judge,” which Fall said he wrote to show that struggling with mental illness doesn’t disqualify people from high-pressure professions.
Fall, 61, who has a law degree from UC Davis, was 35 when then-Gov. Pete Wilson, a Republican, appointed him as a municipal judge in 1995. Three years later he became a Superior Court judge for Yolo County; the 2008 election was the only time he ran opposed. Fall also teaches judicial ethics to other judges around the state.
He spoke with KHN in his chambers in Woodland. The interview has been edited for length and clarity. Q
When did you realize you had a problem dealing with stress?
A
I’d been on the bench four or five years. I was leaving a committee meeting in the Bay Area for the California Judges Association, and I got to my car and started the engine, and all of a sudden my left shoulder and arm were numb. My first thought was a heart attack and my second thought was a stroke, but then the numbness diminished. The doctor said it was stress, and I said, “What do you mean, stress?” He said, “You don’t get it. Your job is at a stress level that most people don’t deal with, and you don’t recognize it because you’ve been dealing with it for a few years now.”
Q
That conversation with your doctor was 20-plus years ago.
A
Right. And it came to a head when I finally got a medical diagnosis regarding mental illness in 2008, after an attorney decided to run against me. The stress went to 11 immediately. It built upon itself and eventually got to where I would wake up at midnight and then stay awake for the night, feeling overwhelmed, feeling some depression, feeling some anxiety.
Q
Was it the idea of having to campaign for yourself that was the stressor?
A
Exactly. Some judges seem to thrive if challenged, and I’m happy for them. I speak in public regularly, but to do it when I was trying to keep my job was brand-new. The essential diagnosis was generalized anxiety disorder, with depressive episodes. We found some medication that worked for me, and that is important, because there are a lot of medications out there. Finding the right one and the right dosage is key.
Q
You wound up winning that 2008 election.
A
Handily. And the day after the election, I slept like a baby, and I woke up the next morning with absolutely no anxiety. It was the first time I’d had that kind of night’s