Don’t talk to mama with that mouth
I’ve been married for 10 years. My husband and I live about 15 minutes from his mother. Things have never been great between my motherin-law and me, but we’ve always tried to overlook our differences.
When my husband and I were first married and didn’t have kids, we spent a lot of our free time with his mom, but now that we have young children, I have decided to do what makes me happy. My husband visits his mother every Saturday, but I usually stay home. A few months ago, I joined my husband, and there was an incident in which my mother-inlaw yelled profanity at me in front of my young son — claiming she was angry that I had “taken him away” from her. She was yelling at my husband and me, not our son, but the stress still impacted him greatly. He asked about it afterward.
I’ve talked about it with her. The first time, she apologized but said I took it the wrong way or overreacted. So we talked again, and I explained that she hadn’t offered a true apology. She couldn’t promise it wouldn’t happen again, so I am just done. I don’t want my child in that position ever again.
Then my mother-in-law approached my parents about it. I feel that she has no boundaries. My husband felt it was fine, saying she was an adult talking to other adults. I couldn’t disagree more.
We talked about counseling for my husband and me, but that was almost four months ago. I am lost, and it affects our relationship. I believe that it’s driving a wedge between us.
— Lost and Frustrated
You are not married to your motherin-law. Your instinct to go to marriage counseling is a good one, especially because this problem reached a fever pitch four months ago and nothing has been resolved. Your husband has to speak with his mother about her unacceptable behavior. Yelling in front of children is never a good idea, but cursing out a child’s mother or father in front of the child is just plain unacceptable. The issue is her verbal abuse of you, and until she accepts responsibility and stops doing it, she will have to suffer the consequences of not seeing her grandchild. Marriage counseling will give you and your husband suggestions for bringing her back to her grandchild on your terms.
Iamin mourning for the loss of greeting cards in today’s world. I send many cards throughout the year for birthdays, anniversaries, deaths and illnesses. Even when I cannot afford a birthday gift for a friend, I try to pick out a greeting card that conveys my best wishes and matches my friend’s personality. I happily remember going to my mailbox on the days prior to my birthday and receiving cards from friends and relatives. Now it’s just a Facebook post saying, “Happy birthday!” To me, Facebook “happy birthday” posts are for acquaintances, not friends you have known for years or family members you love and respect. Is no one today capable of actually purchasing, addressing and mailing a greeting card? — Discouraged
The decline in sending greeting cards is another unfortunate byproduct of our convenience-driven culture. I totally agree with you. There’s something special, perhaps more so now than ever, about receiving a physical card in the mail from a loved one. Buying and mailing a card only takes a few minutes and a few bucks — or less, if you make a card yourself — yet can mean so much. Here’s hoping we see a comeback.
Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.
ACROSS
1 Word with rose or
road 4 AMA part: Abbr. 9 __ Bornes: card
game 14 Caen comrade 15 Thick-skinned
herbivore 16 Big Apple stage
honors 17 Longtime PBS
news anchor 19 Open, in a way 20 Delon of cinéma 21 Exactas, e.g. 23 Site for a railroad
signal 30 Part of __ 31 Hawk or eagle 32 Tic-toe link 35 “That was close!” 38 Buckwheat dish 39 Statistic including farmers and their neighbors 43 “25” album maker 44 Wedding
invitation encl. 45 Yellowknife is its
cap. 46 Mournful artwork 48 Abhor 51 Kielbasa 55 Anorak part 56 Really cool place
to live? 59 Grouchy look 63 Primitive area, and what’s literally found in this puzzle’s circles 66 Ventricular outlet 67 Thar Desert
country 68 JFK Library
architect 69 180-degree river
bend 70 __ Heights:
Mideast region 71 Serpentine letter
DOWN
1 Mexicali’s locale 2 Oscar winner
Jannings 3 Joltin’ Joe 4 Bull-riding
venues 5 Warning to a chatty theatergoer 6 Chivalrous title 7 Year not designated as such until centuries later 8 Kitchen gizmo 9 Greek menu
staple 10 Hebrew : Ben ::
Arabic : __ 11 Lemon on “30
Rock” 12 Floral neckwear 13 Clairvoyant’s gift 18 Turkish dough 22 Only Canadian
MLB team 24 “Murder on the Orient Express” (2017) actor 25 Value system 26 Irritated words 27 “__ the bag” 28 “Not gonna
happen” 29 Researcher’s
request 32 “The Sound of
Music” name 33 Sound 34 Fish basket 36 #TestforRadon
org. 37 Chinese martial
arts 40 Meter opening? 41 Rule governing intentional walks? 42 Open fields 47 “Ray Donovan”
network, briefly 49 Ang Lee’s
birthplace 50 Its main product was originally given the portmanteau name “Froffles” 52 Ferber novel 53 Hersey’s “A Bell
for __” 54 Skip church? 57 Pindaric verses 58 Malady suffix 59 __ Paulo 60 Regatta chief 61 Marble, e.g. 62 Geneva-based
commerce gp. 64XLVxX 65 Sedona, for one