Best friend at one point

My father was diagnosed with cancer a year ago. I told a close childhood friend. She responded, “I don’t know if I can deal with that.” Then she didn’t speak to me for six months. This was hurtful — as I had recently spent many weekends traveling (I live out of town) and hundreds of dollars as her maid of honor, supported her emotionally through the stress of wedding prep, and helped her move — but I didn’t have the emotional capacity at the time to try to rebuild the friendship.

Now that a year has passed, we have been occasionally spending time together again, though we avoid serious conversation. She introduces me as her “best friend.” Recently, I accidentally referred to someone else as my best friend, and she took offense. I don’t want to lose an old friendship, but I can’t imagine being more than casual friends. How can I tactfully tell her that she is far from my best friend and that I’m uncomfortable with her possessiveness? Or is it kinder to leave her to her own perception of our relationship?

— Less Invested

Don’t put any stock in this woman. You told her your father had cancer, and her response was, “I don’t know if I can deal with that.” That is not a best friend; that is not even a mediocre friend. I applaud your desire to be upfront; however, in this case, such a conversation would only give her a chance to offer excuses. Her behavior last year told you all you need to know. Keep your distance, and spend your time with people who truly value it.

One of my biggest pet peeves is when you are in a parking lot and you kindly stop and let people go in front of you and they don’t think to thank you by waving. Most people seem to just expect it! I always thank with a wave and feel others should, too. What say you? — Jan

I think they should wave. But if they don’t, just pretend they did — give yourself a little wave of acknowledgment, if that helps — and then move on with your day.

This is in response to the letter from “News Junkie,” who found himself constantly watching or reading the news and was feeling exhausted. As a therapist, I wonder what’s driving this person to constantly know what’s happening on the political scene. One reason that people go overboard on the news is that they’re unconsciously hoping to decrease their anxiety by knowing more. However, paradoxically, this behavior usually backfires and increases anxiety. Another reason is that they feel pressure to be up-to-date when there are discussions of politics, which happens more often than it used to. This group of people may be afraid of not appearing politically savvy or fear being left out of conversations. — LCSW

I’m always grateful for a clinician’s take on a letter. You raise some great additional considerations. Perhaps “News Junkie” and others binging on news would benefit from looking inward to consider what’s driving their overconsumption.

ACROSS

1 Fitting the

season 7 Innermost part 11 Gp. known for travelers’ checks? 14 Ancient markets 15 Erelong 16 Bow (out) 17 See 3-Down 18 Sullen look 19 “Well, __-di-dah!” 20 Nutmeg spice 21 NY engineering sch. near Albany 23 See 13-Down 25 Enero to enero 26 Charcuterie fare 27 Tippi of “The

Birds” 28 Black bird’s call 29 Necessitate 31 Goes on and on 32 Fish often fried 33 “The Thin Man”

actress 34 Zeta follower 35 Pack away 37 Ratings for family-friendly films 38 Rathskeller draft 39 __ goo gai pan 40 Wine-and-cassis

drink 41 Cooped-up

female 42 Break in the

action 43 20 Questions

category 45 Food scrap 48 More unsightly 50 Minor body-shop

job 51 Lipton product 52 See 42-Down 53 Inc., in London 54 Wild guess 55 Class-conscious

org.? 56 Bouncing effect 58 See 45-Down 60 “Spring forward”

letters 61 À la mode 62 Confessor 63 Enzyme suffix 64 Watch word? 65 Word on a lostdog poster

DOWN

1 Airport surface 2 Galápagos lizard 3 With 17-Across, where the Duma sits 4 Hebrides

language 5 French narrative

poem 6 Like closing

financial reports 7 Legislative impasse ... and what occurs at this puzzle’s circles? 8 “Oh Yoko!”

dedicatee 9Orso 10 __ nous 11 Stand 12 Long key 13 With 23-Across, where the Hellenic Parliament sits 22 Bit of butter 24 Enter cautiously 26 Cat call 30 Platform for Siri 32 “Cookin’ With __”: rapper/chef’s web show 35 Overconfidence 36 Bridge entrance

structure 37 ATM code 38 One-swallow

drink 40 Pakistani port 41 Railroad maintenance vehicle 42 With 52-Across, where the Assembleia Nacional sits 44 Bumped into 45 With 58-Across, where Parliament sits 46 Library patron 47 “The Canterbury

Tales” inn 49 Campaign poster

word 54 White flakes 57 Hawaiian Punch

alternative 59 Hail, to Caesar

I applaud your desire to be upfront; however, in this case, such a conversation would only give her a chance to offer excuses. Her behavior last year told you all you need to know. Keep your distance, and spend your time with people who truly value it.