A Pajamas Conspiracy?
Shortly after Christmas, my work friend, “Mike,” and I were talking at lunch and discovered we have the same problem. Our wives both gave us silk pajamas. Worst yet, they expect us to wear them! We think it’s a conspiracy, even though they have never met. Mike wears his boxer briefs to bed. I stopped wearing my underwear to bed when I went off to college. By the numbers — if you have them — what do American men wear, or not wear, to bed? How can we convince our wives that sleeping naked doesn’t make us perverts? Small children are not an issue here. — Sleeping Bare in
Sunny Florida A 2005 ABC News poll asked Americans what they wore to bed. Thirteen percent of men and 55 percent of women said pajamas or nightgowns; 21 percent of men and 25 percent of women said shorts and/or a T-shirt; and 31 percent of men and 14 percent of women said they slept in the nude. It’s likely those percentages have fluctuated, as the survey’s over a decade old. But assuming the overall trends have held, you’re in the plurality for American men.
It’s also worth noting that there are some scientific arguments in favor of sleeping in the buff. University of Amsterdam researchers found that people achieve deeper sleep with lower skin temperatures, which sleeping in the nude helps achieve. That said, if you should ever have to leave your home in the middle of the night because of a fire (heaven forbid), you might be wishing you had on those silk pajamas.
My heart goes out to “My Sad Story,” the woman who remembers traumatic experiences from her youth. Her sister told her to get over it. For years, I had anxiety attacks and even panic attacks but thought they occurred because I was weak in some way. I meditated, repeated positive affirmations, tried to see only the good in people and events, prayed for relief, and got counseling and medication. Nothing worked.
I am now in my late 60s. I recently decided I needed to return to counseling because I could not bear living with a constant high level of anxiety, which was negatively affecting my quality of life. I didn’t have the energy to go on. By chance, I found a therapist who specializes in anxiety and post-traumatic stress disorder. He diagnosed me with PTSD, and I refused to believe it, thinking that I had not experienced the kinds of trauma experienced by military personnel. He reviewed with me the answers I had given to his questions on our initial intake appointment. I learned that I suffered from traumatic experiences in my childhood. It was hard to accept because I had made up so many excuses for my parents’ behavior over the years. He told me he could help me get past the anxiety with treatment. In less than two months, my anxiety lifted.
Please tell “My Sad Story” to find a therapist who specializes in trauma and not settle for anyone else. Not every therapist has this training. Symptoms only worsen over time if not treated.
— Relieved and Grateful
I’m printing your letter for “My Sad Story” and anyone else who might be carrying unresolved trauma from childhood without even realizing it. Thank you for sharing your story.
It’s also worth noting that there are some scientific arguments in favor of sleeping in the buff.