Parents in decline

Dear Annie. My octogenarian parents recently visited my family for two weeks. They stayed in our house for the duration of their stay. My three sons are all preteens and were very excited to spend time with their grandparents. My husband and I are always a bit more anxious to have them stay. My parents were present and financially supportive throughout my childhood but were emotionally disengaged.

Over the past few years, I’ve noticed that their speed has been slowing and their health has been declining. With this slowing, their presence has also become more disengaged. In fact, they generally spent the trip sitting in our family room watching the news. They would only occasionally leave the house, and even then, it was often just for a quick trip to the supermarket or to get lunch. They didn’t join me for school dropoff, pickup, activities or sports games.

I am concerned about the physical and mental stability of my parents. Both of them worked as I was growing up in California. My father was a sales executive, and my mother was a teacher. They don’t appear to have many friends where they live in Arizona and seem to be hyper-fixated on 24-hour news channels. I think they both miss the interactions from an office job.

They also are fixated on the past and retelling old stories instead of talking about new experiences. They seem to be more confrontational and looking for arguments with people. (Too much cable news?) And they focus on minor health issues and have grown concerned that this is the end.

I’d like to have an intervention with my parents and encourage them to find hobbies or adult groups, but I’m not sure how to do this without hurting them. — Searching for Senior

Help

Strangers are just friends waiting to happen. Maybe they are uncomfortable approaching strangers or feel vulnerable. Encourage them to join local senior groups or a group for new residents. Anybody attending an outing sponsored by one of these social groups is looking for the exact same feeling: companionship. Your parents will meet couples with whom they share interests and values and will be able to pull themselves out of their home and into activities. This will take their minds off the alarming vortex of cable news and give them more positive social interactions.

Recently, you advised “Unexcused” to encourage the guy she’s seeing, who chronically belches, to see a doctor to find out whether he has a medical condition. I would suggest that he first start taking one or two high-quality food enzymes, which break down a broad range of foods, right before each meal. The enzymes will help him digest his food, and the problem may disappear. If that doesn’t work entirely, he might add one or two acidophilus capsules in the morning to help repopulate his stomach and upper intestine with good bacteria, which chlorinated water, alcohol and other things deplete. — Longtime Enzymes

and Probiotics User

I looked into it after receiving your letter, and I see that probiotics are one of the most popular natural remedies for preventing acid reflux and for relieving its symptoms. Thank you for bringing that to my attention.

“Ask Me Anything: A Year of Advice From Dear Annie” is out now! Annie Lane’s debut book — featuring favorite columns on love, friendship, family and etiquette — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www. creatorspublishing.com for more information.

Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.

ACROSS

1 Plunk down in front of, as a counter 6 1-BR listings 10 Ph.D. wannabe’s

obstacle 13 Heart chambers 14 Blue Ribbon beer 16 Short flight 17 Gym bar addition 19 In days of yore 20 Opposite of SSW 21 Seat of Allen

County, Kansas 22 Pricey watch 24 Fairness principle for bandwidth providers 28 Dodos 30 Lumber 31 “__ Baby”: “Hair”

song 32 Genie’s offering 33 Hoppy beer, for

short 36 Judicial fact

finder 41 Mo. port on the

Miss. 42 Mark Harmon TV

series 43 “Now!” in the ER 44 Ruler until 1917 45 iPad and Kindle

Fire 48 What a crossword clue typically starts with 52 “I didn’t expect to

see you here” 53 Out of the wind 54 Itinerary word 57 Habitat of many

schools 58 Retail come-ons ... and what the starts of the longest Across answers can be? 62 “Live __”: Taco

Bell slogan 63 Take off the TiVo 64 Lustrous furs 65 Poetic tribute 66 Mannerless one 67 Behold, of old

DOWN

1 Like lumber 2 Southern coastto-coast hwy. 3 Occurring every

third year 4 2008 bailout co. 5 South Pacific

getaway 6 Orchard fruit 7 Micronesian setting for the 10th season of “Survivor” 8 Letters in an incomplete schedule 9 Retired flier,

briefly 10 Ex-U.N. head

Boutros-__ 11 Thesaurus

compiler 12 Hobbyist’s glue 15 Resistance unit equal to one trillion of the basic units 18 Musical quality 23 Yellowstone’s __

Faithful 25 Cabinet dept. concerned with nukes 26 Candy from Mars 27 Rights icon

Parks 28 Casual denials 29 “Su-r-r-r-re” 32 “Rushmore” director Anderson 33 Play peacemaker 34 Bog fuel 35 “Fine” studies 37 Current, as

fashion 38 Frozen Four org. 39 Lass 40 5-Down or

7-Down 44 Deadlock 45 Penn’s silent

partner 46 Perfectly, with “to” 47 Backup squads 48 Pink drink, for

short 49 On the horizon 50 Temporary stage 51 Catcher at a

rodeo 55 Really gets to 56 Certain prof.’s

designation 59 Poetic planet 60 __ Paulo, Brazil 61 Yahtzee cube