Suspicious caregiver

“Pete” was a friend of mine. He was 20 years older than I and died at the age of 87. He worked hard his entire life and retired with his wife, and they lived in a small but nice house in Palm Springs. They didn’t spend much money and had just enough for a comfortable retirement. Their main source of wealth was their house, which was valued at $600,000, and they owned it free and clear.

I live in Los Angeles, a little more than 100 miles from Palm Springs, and we kept in touch by phone at least once a week. I would visit him in person three or four times a year. The point is that I did not keep track of Pete day to day.

You can imagine my surprise when one day I woke up to find three voice messages from him saying that I must fire his new caregiver, “George.” I called Pete back but could not reach him. I found out later that he had been taken to the hospital and had died several hours later, alone in the hospital room with George. I was immediately suspicious because Pete had been in excellent health, but I could prove nothing. The hospital said he died of “heart failure,” and considering his advanced age, that was that.

Pete left me various personal items in his will, and when I went to his house to retrieve them, I was shocked to discover that George had moved into his bedroom. George is younger than I am, but he was suddenly having an affair with Pete’s widow! I was too disgusted to comment, especially by the timing.

They never had children, so I told my wife that I wouldn’t be surprised to hear that she died and George inherited the house. Well, that is exactly what happened, within six months of Pete’s death.

I am writing to you to warn your readers about what can happen to the elderly — at least what happened in this one case. I wish I had done more, though I’m not sure what I could do from afar, and I was never close to his wife. Elder abuse is becoming a major problem in our country, and the consequences can be tragic. — Heartbroken for My

Elderly Friend What a terrifying story. Thank you for sharing it.

Seniors suffering abuse — and anyone who suspects that an elderly loved one is suffering abuse — I implore you to call Adult Protective Services’ hotline (800-2228000) or local law enforcement. For general information about elder abuse, its different forms and symptoms, visit the National Institute on Aging’s elder abuse page, at https://www.nia.nih.gov/ health/elder-abuse.

I’d like to respond to “TwentySomething,” who is dreading his or her 30th birthday. My longtime friend, a psychiatrist, gave me this advice when I was turning 30, and it holds for all difficult milestone birthdays: Learn to do something you’ve always thought you might like to do. In my case, I decided at the ripe old age of 29 to learn to play the clarinet. I got so wrapped up in my new skills that 30 came and went almost without notice. It doesn’t matter what the milestone birthday is; it’s not too late to spend your time learning something new. — Becky in Sublimity,

Ore.

Beautifully said. May we all spend more time doing things that make us forget to look at our watches (or our phones, as the case may be).

“Ask Me Anything: A Year of Advice From Dear Annie” is out now! Annie Lane’s debut book — featuring favorite columns on love, friendship, family and etiquette — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http:// www.creatorspublishing. com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.

ACROSS

1 Chatting online,

for short 6 Little

troublemakers 10 Invitation letters 14 Indiana hoopster 15 Like frat brothers 16 Keep __: persist 17 Fast train in the

Northeast 18 Ideal occupations 20 Scrambled words

newspaper game 22 Crosswalk user,

briefly 23 Prodigal __ 24 Garden tools 25 Hosp. drips 27 Vaudeville bit 28 Car music source 32 Baghdad native 35 Mystical glow 37 Eyeglasses glass 38 Fashionably

ripped denim 41 So totally gross 42 Fencing sword 43 “Therefore ... ” 44 Matthew and Mark wrote two of them 46 Pained cries 47 Gave lunch to 48 Surrealist

Salvador 50 Ike’s monogram 53 Medical ins. plan 55 Copier

malfunction 59 Off-color humor 61 Get ready to hit

the road 62 Chicago paper,

familiarly 63 Sign of the future 64 “__ you ready

yet?” 65 November

honorees 66 Get fresh with 67 Moth-eaten

DOWN

1 Apple tablets 2 Chinese

gambling mecca 3 Strand at the ski

lodge, maybe 4 Women’s basketball analyst Fortner 5 It may be a result of stress, some say 6 “My luck HAS to

change!” 7 Quaint

schoolteachers 8 Roman

commoner 9 __ the deal 10 Indian friend of

TV’s Sheldon 11 Comes to a

complete halt 12 Vague feeling 13 Condition once called “shell shock,” for short 19 Israel’s Golda 21 Trot 26 “Donna” singer

Ritchie 27 One usually dressed for success 28 Liberate 29 Alfred E. Neuman magazine 30 Road trip

stopovers 31 __ buco: veal

dish 32 Beatnik’s

“Gotcha!” 33 Puerto __ 34 Ignores warnings

to behave, say 35 Once-sacred

snakes 36 Employ 39 Long, thin fish 40 Talking endlessly

to 45 Whirlpool 46 Fútbol fan’s cry 48 Noblemen below

princes 49 Chorus from the

pews 50 Track mix for a party, and what the five longest Across answers comprise 51 Intimidate 52 Running

on __ 53 RCA

product 54 Swampy

area 56 Spanish

eyes 57 Deep sleep 58 “Sharknado”

actress Reid 60 Atlanta-based

cable channel