Uninvited guests

I hope you can offer a solution to my dilemma. Over the Fourth of July, I hosted a party at my riverfront home. Most of the guests were my son’s friends, whom I get along with, and I am always happy when they bring their kids, because then my grandbabies have little ones to play with. My issue is that for the past few years at my party, one couple, “John” and “Cynthia,” always invite and bring additional people whom I either don’t know or don’t particularly care for. They do this without asking me ahead of time.

This year, John and Cynthia brought a couple with a baby whom I had never met before. They all pitched tents in my yard and spent the night without even asking! Later in the afternoon, John’s brother, sister-in-law and niece also showed up without being invited. John, Cynthia and the couples they brought with them didn’t leave until late the next day, leaving dirty diapers in my garbage. They even started searching for leftovers in the fridge. (There weren’t any because of all the additional uninvited people.)

It was all I could do to hold my tongue. I had asked my son to speak to them about this issue. Apparently, he neglected to do that because he is afraid they would just say they won’t come. That would be fine with me, except for wanting my grandkids to have more playmates. The general opinion seems to be that it is incredibly rude and inconsiderate to do this. How do I prevent this from happening again without having them flip out and just refuse to come next time? Even after a month, I am still fuming about it.

— Blindsided

Your yard is not a campground, even though John and Cynthia are treating it as such. Actually, they’re more like bears at the park dumpster — raiding your food and leaving a mess. If I were you, I probably wouldn’t even invite them back next year. But if you do, expressly state that the invitation is just for the two of them and their children. If they “flip out” at that and refuse to come, you’re better off. If John and Cynthia are raising their children to be anything like them, you probably don’t want them influencing your grandkids any way.

This is in response to “I Knew Better,” who is deeply ashamed for sleeping with someone. I’d like to address the faith part a little bit more and speak directly to her.

“Knew Better”: You did something against your faith. Period. You stopped. With your faith, do you believe you can be forgiven but you can’t forgive yourself? You are putting your faith in a very small box. Open up and let the freedom of your forgiveness flow, because conviction of wrongdoing comes from your faith. Condemnation does not come with your faith. You may “feel” shame, but you are much more than this one instance. Stand up like the princess you are! You are beautiful!

— Keep the Faith

Beautifully said. I’m happy to print your encouraging words.

“Ask Me Anything: A Year of Advice From Dear Annie” is out now! Annie Lane’s debut book — featuring favorite columns on love, friendship, family and etiquette — is available as a paperback and ebook. Visit http://www. creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.

ACROSS

1 Beats Electronics co-founder, familiarly 4 Birdbrain, or an

extinct bird 8 Scrap 14 The guy for ewe 15 “Right you are!” 16 Vanderbilt of

fashion 17 PD alert 18 In fun 20 Way to move

funds 22 Slangy

turnarounds 23 “Silly me!” 24 Mardi Gras wear 28 Good manners 33 “Dear Yoko”

dedicatee 34 Volcanic event 35 Org. with lanes 38 Sch. with a Shreveport campus 40 Activate, as a

mobile app 41 Wee hour 42 Medium for van

Gogh 45 Understand 47 Artist Erté’s real

name 52 Winter Palace

resident 53 Mexican gold 54 Limo bar 55 Regular vehicle maintenance suggested by this puzzle’s circles 60 Spring cleaning

may lead to them 63 Firecracker that

doesn’t crack 64 Brought to mind 65 Small change 66 Afore 67 They’re fed at

curbside 68 Icelandic literary

work 69 “Danny and the Dinosaur” author Hoff

DOWN

1 Prepare, as plans 2 Thin sword 3 Early stage of

life 4 Birdbrained 5 Actor Sharif 6 The aughts, for

one 7 Musically

monotonous 8 “Bring on the

weekend!” 9 Natural emollient 10 Foodie 11 Hosp. areas 12 Zero 13 __ trader 19 Summer top 21 Bruins star Phil,

to fans 25 Working hard 26 Put in the

overhead bin 27 Vegas game 29 Baritone Chou in the opera “Nixon in China” 30 Violinist’s supply 31 Kinda-sorta 32 Bunk with a

ladder 35 Left on board? 36 “About the

author” pieces 37 Michigan city or

college 39 Annuls 43 Share (in) 44 Upscale apartment feature 46 Coup d’__ 48 Rode (around) 49 Rust and lime 50 Like a baker’s

hands 51 Shifted (for

oneself) 56 Disney head

Robert 57 Wine list

heading 58 Take care of 59 Hammett dog 60 Real peach 61 Monopoly deed

abbr. 62 Go bad