Daily Freeman (Kingston, NY)

Many ways to be a mother

- Annie Lane Dear Annie

DEAR ANNIE >> My heart went out to the couple in today’s paper — the letter from the woman in her late 20s who is having problems with infertilit­y. Back in the ‘70s, a time when infertilit­y was not talked about like now, my partner and I also had an infertilit­y problem. The options were minimal. We continued to do all the testing.

Many of our friends and family members would be announcing their pregnancie­s. The pain at times was unbearable. Many prayers were said, and many tears were shed. We finally decided on adoption.

In time, we received a letter of acceptance. We were blessed to adopt a baby boy and then, two years later, a baby girl. It was love at first sight in both cases. We now have six beautiful grandchild­ren. As much as it hurts “Bitter,” she needs to make amends with her family. Life is short, and you are only given one chance. Wishing them well. — A Very Happy

Grandmothe­r

DEAR HAPPY GRANDMOTHE­R >> I can feel the gratitude pouring out of your letter. Adoption is a wonderful thing, and I am so happy for you and your family. Enjoy those precious grandchild­ren, and thank you for your heartfelt letter.

DEAR ANNIE >> Many years ago, I went through all the tests and procedures for infertilit­y. This is not the only way to become a parent. We went through a private adoption agency. The process cost us about $25,000. That is about what people pay for a new car. It was the most well-spent money.

I became the mother of a beautiful, perfect baby girl. She has grown into an intelligen­t and loving young lady. She was the light in my life. She couldn’t have been more ours if we had conceived her. Something to consider.

— Light in My Life

DEAR LIGHT IN YOUR LIFE

>> Similar to the previous letter, yours beams with gratitude. You are a wonderful mother, and what a lovely tribute to the joys of adoption. Thank you.

DEAR ANNIE >> “Bitter” says she wants to be a mother. This is different from having a baby. There are still many options for being a mother available to her, but only after she heals enough to look for them. Adoption, foster parenting, volunteeri­ng, and loving nieces and nephews all come to mind.

I feel her pain. I was in her shoes 40 years ago. I called United Way and asked for some kind of volunteer work with babies and toddlers. They directed me to a temporary care facility that cared for little ones during family emergencie­s. I helped put toddlers to bed, read stories, and cuddled and rocked them. It did MY soul a world of good.

There are many ways to mother. “Bitter” needs to start looking.

— Being a Mother

DEAR BEING A MOTHER >>

Yours is a beautiful suggestion for anyone who is a mother or wants to be a mother. Hats off to you for caring for vulnerable babies and children during emergency situations. The world needs more people like you.

“Ask Me Anything: A Year of Advice From Dear Annie” is out now! Annie Lane’s debut book - featuring favorite columns on love, friendship, family and etiquette - is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspu­blishing.com for more informatio­n. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.

Adoption is a wonderful thing, and I am so happy for you and your family.

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