Republicans against action

Dear Editor,

Have you heard? The Republican National Committee is sponsoring a nationwide contest, offering prizes for the most creative suggestions to STOP potential Democratic voters from casting a ballot.

Some proposed legislation from GOP state legislators shows promise, e.g., eliminating no excuse absentee ballots and requiring a witness signature and photocopied ID with those that are accepted (Georgia), removing drop boxes for completed ballots, curtailing early voting, ramping up efforts to purge eligible voters from rolls (Arizona), eliminating same-day voter registration (Montana), and so on. However, RNC is searching for new ideas. Some early entries:

• Require people attempting to register as Democrats to recite the Declaration of Independence backwards, no notes.

• Promote GOP-organized voter registration drives on college campuses, distributing and collecting forms printed in slowly disappearing ink.

• Work with foreign cyberpunks to organize disruptions of the electric grid in neighborhoods that typically vote Democratic.

• At Election Day polling sites in said neighborhoods, enlist GOP volunteers to selectively give people waiting in line some warming comfort drinks and cookies ... laced with Ipecac to induce rapid projectile vomiting.

The RNC is committed to STOP any Democratic action to make voting easy, safe, and fair; to reduce the influence of dark money in campaigning; to establish independent bodies to conduct redistricting, reducing politicians’ abilities to carve up districts to their own advantage; to reinstitute oversight of states’ practices that undermine every citizen’s right to vote. (See HR 1 and HR 4, which the Dems will be pushing next week.) Outrageous!

The first prize winner — you guessed it — will win a two-night stay at Mar-a-Lago, 50 percent reduced rate!

Tom Denton Highland, N.Y.