~ Norman Hurttlen ~

SAUGERTIES - Norman Hurttlen died December 14, 2021 at home in Saugerties at age 84, two days after his birthday and after a courageous battle with cancer. Norman was a kind, brilliant, yet complex man. Words of hyperbole from a grieving widow? Not at all, and here in time are a few lengthy examples.

But first this example, this photo of Norman taken over 30 years ago shows him happily cutting our wedding cake, where, in our living room (after the ceremony at City Hall) our relatives and friends were seated. My niece as maid of honor, my brother as best man, Norman’s Book Partner, and the Chairman of the Curtis High School Art Department where I taught. Both Norman and I were single and although married late in life (ages 50 and 53) Norman’s attitude was completely different from the movie (and the Play) in which the bachelor stated, “Just get me to the church on time.” Indeed, Norman both emotionally and financially participated beforehand in - terms of buying champagne, the wedding cake, my ring of course, etc., etc. By these gestures of his happy emotional participation (as seen in the photo) it was evident that he was whole heartedly ready to embrace married life. Because of all this, he relieved the emotional pressure on me as the bride.

A physically strong and principled man? As Bob Rightmyer, our very conscientious Real Estate Agent, would tell you that we bought a house so run down that the price

kept dropping. When my husband said dismissively that it needed so much work, I looked beseechingly at him and he said “Do You want it?” I nodded and he said to the agent “We’ll take it.” Later, as I said astonishingly, when I saw how much work the job entails, the rebuilding of rooms, the cement work, the clearing of the land, etc. etc. Norman simply said, “Well, I told you.”

Well, a strong man physically but perhaps not overly sensitive? In a photo in our house (taken by my brother) shows an enormous pile of stacked cut wood (as a

result of Norman’s land clearing) and yet in another old photo sent to us by Norman’s

sister-in-law and taken by Norman’s father shows a young boy (in isolation) gently cupping an injured bird in his hand. The man who split the awesome pile of wood

is Norman. The gentle child cupping an injured bird in his hand is also Norman.

My husband was a big classic movie fan and I quote another famous line. “Fasten your seat belt, its going to be a bumpy ride”. First the contradiction, why because Norman was such an accomplished chess player, with a master rating from the US Chess Association. In a well-known tournament he was one of the very few to play to a draw with the famous, Bobby Fisher, of “Searching for Bobby Fisher” fame.

Yet, this was infuriating because not long after, a chess acquaintance of Norman’s called explaining that he had a book he was about to write titled “Bobby Fisher: Games He Drew and Lost”. (Obviously a thin book). But he needed the official sheet to include Norman’s game in his book. In those days, pre-computerized, 90 % of winners kept their legally stamped sheets, but of course Norman had torn his up. Not out of frustration, but due to his complete indifference to record keeping. Yet out of pride, after the tournament, my husband had told me that Bobby Fisher had asked only him to post mortem the other games that Fisher had played. But the result of not having the score sheet was Norman’s game was left out of his

book. As a nod to Norman, please google Norman Hurttlen and some of the Chess games with Bobby Fisher will be seen.

One more chess anecdote, and I particularly like this chess story because I personally witnessed this. As a book dealer Norman would visit many book stores and the owners would recognize him as a dealer based on what he bought. (Interestingly one time after crouching down for hours studying lower shelves the owner asked “Are you a dealer?”) On this particular day, when I mentioned his chess prowess, the owner asked him to play his adult son, hoping that his overbearing son would be taken down a peg or two. As if a ballet, just as the owner said this, Norman’s chess piece swept across the board to checkmate. At which case the beaming owner smiled and took 60 % off the cost of Norman’s lage and expensive pile of books. Speaking of

books, Norman sold his half of the bookstore’s inventory to his partner, in order to have time to restore our house. (Leaving his partner to call and complain that his best customers were leaving because of Norman’s departure.)

Another anecdote describing Norman’s complex nature, my nephews use to enjoy

their visits here very much. So much, so that one nephew told his daughter about his shopping and dining out etc. Norman however, although he was generally sociable, had his greatest laugh in a movie called “The Bride Came COD” where Harry Carry exclaimed that he loved people, but when one of the other stars exclaimed that

here in the desert he saw few people and far between. Harry Carry stated that was why he loved them even more. Of course this made my husband laugh, which endeared him to me even more because while he may not have been innately sociable. He made himself that way for me.

A brilliant mind, but perhaps physically only a bookworm? In early days in Vietnam as an involuntary advisor he was rated in the top 2% of the Army and was enlisted in the Signal Corps as radio voice, radio teletype, and almost crypto clearance.

As a small example of his principled nature, he refused to put a radio call through from top brass because the man didn’t know the code and got in trouble.

In my original description, I described Norman as a kind man. One example After a long and arduous march he took a weary soldier’s heavy backpack from him and additionally carrying his own backpack he finished the march. Because of this he wound up in the hospital for weeks with an extremely painful heal blister, which he would half to scrape off daily, so that a new blister would form.

Also in Vietnam, as an elite unit, his outfit was scheduled to parade almost daily for visiting dignitaries. Norman, who despised pomp and ceremony, refused to march. And because of this, he was assigned KP almost daily. (The cooks loved him because he was a hard worker.)

Normally taciturn, after being discharged, he wrote a letter to a comrade in Vietnam, describing his thoughts and feelings concerning Vietnam. The letter was so beautifully and thoughtfully written that a one point, a friend in the squad called and

explained to Norman, that his letter was circulated to all the men in the camp. It was tacked to a bulletin board for all to see and read.

Even though it was early years during the war, the airport that he was stationed at during the war was built on a low lying field, so in addition to other dangers the Vietnamese were capable of raining fire down on them. In the later years, when

Norman admired a man’s courage, he would announce to me that “I would have put that man in my nine man squad”

Although Norman had a physical strength but he wasn’t just a “land lubber”. In Vietnam he had all the boats out in the water at night because he was going out

“for a long swim”. At another time, an expert swimmer, he was complimented by a lifeguard who had watched him swim for six hours straight in the pool. The lifeguard asked, “Are you training for the Olympics?” Norman regretfully replied, “I can’t find a sponsor.”

Most importantly, and as a direct cause of his strong principled nature, he changed

favorably, the lives of the enlisted men. A strong and overly dramatic statement? Prior to his stance, all the enlisted men were ordered to buy a US Savings Bond (to help the war effort). This Norman refused to do as a matter of principle. “Norman Financially cash strapped?” – Hardly. (And besides the amount was relatively small.) For this principled stance – he was almost court-martialed. But during the Court Martial hearing, he explained that as a soldier he was already doing his part for the war effort – without having to additionally pay for it.

And upon reflection, the “the Top Brass” disbanded the court martial hearing and the order to buy bonds was rescinded.

How important was this? Because of

Norman’s courageous and principled stand from the point forward, no soldier had to face the indignity of being forced to pay for the war in which he was fighting.

On a completely different note, “In sickness and in health” is part of the wedding vow. Well, after my stoke many years ago, Norman cooked healthy and nutritious for

the three of us (he, myself and my brother (who couldn’t boil water)), shopped and cleaned; and each night he would approach my bed with a cup of tea state that all of

the girls in the village picked out my tea leaves for me.

Ironically, years ago, and prior to our marriage, my brother, Willy, who was a longtime friend of Norman’s from chess days, (after Norman and I had had words) called me in his room and stated analytically that Norman (in his opinion) was “odd”. Upon further reflection he stated that I was, also, odd. And after further thoughts “but Norman is odder”, at which point, I took silent umbrage and felt as if Norman had won the contest. Well, after many years of contented marriage and Norman’s arduous loving and care - if this was evidence of odd behavior, I am glad Norman had won the contest.

By coincidence, a song we both loved – and I believe for the same reason, (for it deals with thoughts of an all-consuming love) titled “I’ll Be Seeing You” by Billy Holiday. The song states in part, her remembered loved, and all-consuming love, upon seeing familiar objects (and even atmospheric conditions). As an example, “a park across the way, a children’s carousel, a wishing well.” We heard this song again on the radio, a few weeks before Norman’s passing.

A few months ago, Norman (in a reminiscent mood) described to me a true story when, as a book dealer an episode concerning a wealthy book customer. This customer worriedly asked Norman about the condition of his books after he died.

Norman, in true “Norman fashion” stated his conclusion – “you don’t die”

When I sit in solitude and gaze at the patio (which you built), I’ll be seeing you, when I roam through our rooms (which you rebuilt), I’ll be sing you, when I study

my gardens (which you helped design), I’ll be seeing you. And dear Norman, I seem to be taking you own advice; for in my

mind and thoughts and deep within heart you didn’t die.

On the top of my desk, a birthday card has stood in solitary place of honor for

many months. (Since it was given to me by Norman for my March birthday) In the card are a few loving and thoughtful

sentiments by Norman. The exterior shows a lovely light pink background. The card

shows words written in large cursive gold letters – “Love of My Life” and on the bottom of the card in small block letters are these words “true love when it comes

is always worth the wait”. This card will remain in proud isolation on my desk.

Norman, knowing it to be his final hours – gestured toward me in his bed, looked at me and smiled, and with the last vestige of his strength clasped my hand tightly in his.

I am reminded of the song sung by the Supremes, a refrain and promise after their riff “Someday we’ll be together”. So, dear Norman, “Someday we’ll be together” but in the meantime “I’ll be seeing you”

During my reading of Norman’s “last wishes” I am reminded again of Norman’s kindness. Years ago, after my brother’s death, I took emotional comfort from

Norman’s presence (even though Norman always refused to attend funerals, for as a principled man, he refused to look upon a loved one’s dead face). As a result he missed the funerals of deeply loved relatives. Because of his principled refusal to look upon a loved one’s dead face, he sat in the back of the funeral parlor – but

I knew he was there. In addition, jumping up at my call “he dislocating his trick knee”

and couldn’t participate in the position of pallbearer (but having known about his trick knee for years, I knew why he was unable to participate, yet I loved him for his presence, and his emotional bonding.)

A blanket thank you for all my dear and caring friends and neighbors from Saugerties; yet it is because of Norman’s actions that we are your neighbors (oh no, not another peon moment for Norman)

Well as a young adolescent, he made numerous vacation trips to Saugerties with his mother (his father was working). Staying at a now abandoned lodge literally just a few driving minutes from our home. And it was because of Norman’s fond

memories of Saugerties – and after a fortuitous buyout from the NYC School System we began house hunting. Saugerties because of Norman’s fond memories was first on our list. But not only kind words from Saugerties? A very special thank you to Dr. Ruxandre Iorgu. Our great doctor (Norman’s words) from Kingston Medical,

who in feminist compassion (and genuine affection) made a highly and unusual pre-birthday phone call to Norman. And because of this made his last few hours as emotionally content as possible.

At one point I overheard Norman saying to our worried friend, Ernie, who although

a business man is also in charge of the cemetery grounds, “just dig the grave and dump me in”.

Again by coincidence, a few days prior to Norman’s passing, we saw again an old favorite war movie of Norman’s. They were expendable, during which John Wayne reads a eulogy over a dead comrade’s grave. Although Norman was certainly

not a fan of John Wayne, I made a mental note to read this sonnet over his grave, since I thought it was in keeping with Norman’s philosophy. However, because it was a cold, windy and muddy day as I watched the ground crew lower his coffin, I stood silent. However, I intend to recite it when I visit his grave again:

“In a bright and starry sky – just dig the grave and let me lie; for I lay me day with a will. For here be the first you grave for me - home is the sailor - home from the sea and the hunter - home from the hill”

A thank you for Chris – who volunteered for the cemetery crew

For Stephanie – who twice made a concerned and consoling call (despite recently losing her mother)

For Ernie – who made a point of following Norman’s Instructions for a speeding burial

For Ken – who quickly shoveled my huge snow driveway to give me mobility

For Dani – who sent a beautiful and comforting lunch package

For Richie, my nephew – who despite worrying about his ailing brother called and always asked “How’s Norman, and tell him I was asking”

For Little Maggie – who made a consoling call to me twice including a Merry Christmas call, and who gave an awesome

reply to my recounting of Norman’s savings bond episode

For Kyle (a bright and kind man) – who in addition almost pleading with me with offers of help state a most basic fact, “We’ll all miss Norman”

For Marcia – who proudly remembered that Norman had his last bite of food from her famous cheesecake.

For the Wanboldts sympathy card in which they described Norman’s most positive Characteristic, to quote “Norman was a Kind Man” (emphasis mine).

For Pat (our Funeral Director) – for the lovely comforting room and special song piped in and the patience of Job making numerous calls and visits to our home while I wrote and rewrote Norman’s Obituary.

At times I thought I was studying for final exams at NYU, but I wanted it to be my final homage to Norman.

For all of you “gluttons for punishment”, willing to read the obit to rival the length of Tolstoy’s “War and Peace”. As an artist and former NYC High School Art Teacher, I wished to flesh out my husband rather than leaving him a thin penciled outline.

In a final and very eerie episode, an example of Norman’s strong willed aversion to frills, his last written word to me and last wishes were “closed coffin, no funeral, to be buried immediately, no flowers, only Vicky at the gravesite” (Thanks again Ernie). During my private viewing, I had put on display the photo which is seen on

the obituary and at the other end a very small bouquet of flowers left over from his birthday bouquet. As I serenely view

the coffin and listened to our song, “I’ll Be Seeing You” which had been piped in, the

flowers securely placed fell to the floor. As the attendant and I swept the flowers

from the floor, I said “I guess Norman was trying to tell me something.” And then he laughed.

Final thoughts from a knowledgeable book dealer. Don’t be enticed by the words first edition. If the author has been deemed second rate by dealers and readers, your financial increase and bragging rights

will be nil. At times Nroman related to me that a dust jacket and solely a dust jacket may be worth more than the actual book. What? He explained and it was the actual case at one point most people usually treat their books with respect while the dust jacket is often destroyed or thrown away. In one particular case a rare dust jacket fetched more at an auction than the actual

book. So keep you dust jackets as Norman did.

For those of you again who are concerned about my emotional and physical isolation, I gather mental strength from a

poen”Invictus” from a sonnet (and a movie from the same name) which deals with

the South African National Rugby Team but also Nelson Mandela who also gained strength while he was dealing with the arduous area of his life (Prison isolation for 20 years in apartheid South Africa). “Whatever the fate’s may be I am in control, my head is bloodied but unbowed, but I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul.”

My final note, my mother, who was a social studies teacher but loved poetry would philosophically quote a passage from a noted British poet, Sir Alfred Lord

Tennyson, Kind hearts and coronets and because I shared the same philosophy I will quote the poem

Howe’er it be, It seems to me,

Tis only noble to be true,

Kind hearts are more than coronets,

And simple faith than noble blood.

Much love to all of you with kind hearts. - Vicky