Prenups aren’t just for celebrities anymore

My boyfriend and I were talking seriously about getting married next year, and out of the blue he mentioned that I’d need to sign a prenup. Is that normal these days? Any advice? Toni, Berwyn, 36

Especially with couples getting married later in life, Prenuptial Agreements (“prenups”) aren’t just for celebrities these days. Prenups typically detail each partner’s fiscal and property rights in the event of divorce. Since many people are entering marriage for their second, third or fourth time, getting a prenup is now considered the pragmatic thing to do.

Too many couples enter into a marriage without asking the tough financial questions, so getting a prenup does at least force knowledge of each party’s finances on the other. Prenups also supersede state laws, as long as they are written correctly and both parties are represented by their own attorneys. A valid prenup will generally require the following:

• In writing, and executed by both parties, in front of witnesses

• Provide full disclosure of all assets and/or liabilities

• Executed before the wedding

If using a prenup, it’s important to discuss and agree on many financial considerations, including:

• Will one or both of your businesses be considered separate property?

• Which property will be considered marital property?

• Considerations of inheritances, children, and estate planning

• Particulars about division of assets, alimony, child support, and life insurance Before signing any prenup, do research and read over a few to make sure you haven’t forgotten anything important. Nowadays, even pets are being put into prenups.

I’ve been dating this woman for about three months, and although she is very pretty, she dresses like an old woman. I think the problem is that she doesn’t make much money, so she hasn’t bought anything new in a while. Would it be OK if I say something to her? Chris, 62, West Chester

Both my male and female clients deal with fashion faux-pas while dating all the time! I appreciate your sensitivity and acknowledgement that your date is probably dressing poorly due to a lack of financial resources, rather than a lack of taste.

The most successful way to address this issue is NOT to say something, but rather to celebrate your date and take her on a little shopping spree! However, there a few guidelines to keep in mind that should help you have a fun and fabulous time:

• Decide ahead of time what your budget is and tell her in advance. Resist going over your budget as it will just cause stress for you and guilt for her.

• Make a great date of it. She’ll want to be feel- ing pretty when she goes shopping, so she’ll probably need notice to make sure she’s had time to do her hair and makeup, etc. As for you, dress well. Besides looking good for her, you’ll be treated better by the store owners and workers if you look nice and are having fun.

• Don’t guess her size. Follow her lead, and if you have to guess, stick to the smaller size.

• Don’t be controlling about what you want her to buy. However, feel free to have some input, especially if you’re shopping for a special occasion.

• Don’t look bored or tired as many men do when they go shopping with a woman. This is supposed to be fun, so be sure to take breaks if you’ll be shopping for a few hours, and enjoy a meal and maybe even a few drinks to keep the mood festive.

• Don’t tell her an outfit doesn’t look good. Use compliments instead. When you don’t like an outfit, say nothing; she’ll get the message. Remember your job is to make her feel like you think she’s the most beautiful woman in the world! Enjoy!

Please feel free to write Nancy with your relationship question at allaboutconnecting@gmail. com. She looks forward to hearing from you!