Aries (March 21-April 19): Consider the importance of passing on a verbal legacy of positive stories. Those who hear of the strength and fortitude of earlier generations will be inspired to find greatness inside themselves, too. Taurus (April 20-May 20): A relationship that has been at odds now has a good chance at aligning most auspiciously for both parties. Differences become less significant as you see ways to serve a mutual interest. Gemini (May 21-June 21): You want to be inspired. You want to be challenged. The person who can do this without thinking, flinching or worrying in the least how you’ll react to the dare will kindle a mighty attraction in you. Cancer (June 22-July 22): Don’t forget about the stories common to your family or group. These verbal traditions, passed from generation to generation, communicate the shared values of the group, which include strength and commitment. Leo (July 23-Aug. 22): The natural drive is to relieve tension. That’s why some people can’t resist popping the bubble wrap. However, it would be a mistake, and a missed opportunity, to let the tension out of a relationship too soon. Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): In most of life’s deep questions, the answers lie in the context. Because each situation is unique and complex, one quantifiable answer is never going to fit all. In a related story, be wary of vitamin salesmen and the like today. Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 23): You’ve so much energy to bring to an arrangement that finding another leader who matches your level will be nearly impossible. Assuming you’re going to lead, now is the time to work on your vision. Hone one that will be good for all. Scorpio (Oct. 24-Nov. 21): You need to make an intellectual connection today even more than you did yesterday, otherwise you’re going to feel alone on your thought plane and unsure about what to want next. Seek company with the like- and high-minded. Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Scientist and statesman Ben Franklin called his habit of journaling the “constant felicity” of his life. You, too, will delight in keeping track of your life in this way, as it will give you clarity now and later, a lifeline to the past. Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Your virtues are not being disputed, nor your contributions contested. And yet, you still feel opposed by someone who is supposed to be on your side. It’s time to ask: What is this argument really about? Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): If you got your way all of the time, life would become unbearably boring. Today will bring an encounter with someone who challenges you and makes you feel driven to earn respect and attention. Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20): You never seem to tire of trying to make life better for the ones you love. Their happiness is the basis for yours. That person who finds it easy to get and stay happy is the golden gift in your life.
To write to Holiday Mathis, visit www.creators.com and click “Write the Author” on her page. DEAR ABBY >> Is it possible that people can just fall out of love with each other? We have been married for 21 years and have three kids who are older. Over the last five years, my wife and I have stopped communicating. We don’t do anything together and have little desire to be with each other anymore.
We are good parents, but as far as being husband and wife, we have pretty much neglected each other emotionally and physically. Neither of us has strayed. We haven’t been to a marriage counselor because I just don’t love my wife anymore, and I’m not saying this to be mean. It’s just how I feel. We have failed each other miserably as husband and wife, and she deserves better. She has been a great mom to our three kids, and I would never take that away from her.
Can people stay in a loveless marriage? We have talked it over, and we both agree there’s nothing left here for each other. I have already told her she needs to do whatever it takes to make herself happy because I can no longer be here for her emotionally or physically. — Fell out of love
DEAR FELL OUT OF LOVE >> People sometimes remain in loveless marriages for religious or financial reasons, because they are afraid a divorce would traumatize the children, or because they are afraid of being alone. If you and your wife agree that there is nothing left for either of you, and marriage counseling won’t fix the dysfunction in your relationship, then the logical next step would be an amicable separation or divorce.
DEAR ABBY >> I have the most amazing husband. He helps with the housework, provides for us and loves me unconditionally. Not a day goes by that I don’t hear how precious I am to him. It’s like a fairy tale. Except — we never had a formal wedding, just a courthouse ceremony with nobody there but us two. You see, we had to get the paperwork done so I wouldn’t have to keep renewing my visa status every few months.
Now we can be together in the U.S. with no issues. But I feel like we skipped an important life milestone, and a wedding would be the perfect opportunity to unite both of our families from around the world.
The problem is my husband is happy with the way things are. He refuses to spend money on a party and says, “If we ever have one, it will be when we are rich, stable, and able to afford it by ourselves.” (My parents are more than willing to pay!) I feel like a lifelong dream was taken away from me. Your thoughts?
— Missing out in Virginia
DEAR MISSING OUT >> My thoughts are you have a stellar husband AND your visa problem is solved. I’d say you have done quite well. If your husband prefers to postpone the fancy celebration until you are more financially stable and foot the bill himself, you should respect him for it. I know I do.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS and getting along with peers and parents is in “What Every Teen Should Know.” Send your name and mailing address, plus check or money order for $7 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Shipping and handling are included in the price.)