Teen strug­gles to adapt to dad’s strict par­ent­ing

Daily Local News (West Chester, PA) - - YOUR DAILY BREAK -

DEAR ABBY >> I’m a 13-yearold girl in the eighth grade. I moved in with my fa­ther and his girl­friend five months ago. (My mom is es­tranged.)

They are very strict and con­trol­ling. I’m not al­lowed to go any­where, have friends over or be in my room with my phone for any amount of time, and I have to do all the chores in the sum­mer­time. They also go through my phone even though they have no rea­son to.

They post em­bar­rass­ing pic­tures of me un­der my Face­book ac­count, take my phone away con­stantly (so I can’t talk to my friends who live far away), force me to play soft­ball (that’s a big one), which I hate, etc. My pri­vacy is nonex­is­tent, es­pe­cially con­sid­er­ing how I used to live be­fore. I feel like I have no in­de­pen­dence.

I know I can be dis­re­spect­ful at times, but I don’t get into trou­ble and I don’t un­der­stand why they act like they do. I’m re­ally stressed out. In the past I have got­ten so up­set I cut my­self on the wrist, and I have drunk liq­uid pain medicine. (I know it was stupid.) But some­times I se­ri­ously think about killing my­self. So, what should I do, Abby? — It’s un­fair in New


DEAR UN­FAIR >> What you should do — and right away — is talk to a coun­selor at school and tell that per­son every­thing you have told me. I don’t know your fa­ther and his girl­friend, what con­di­tions you were liv­ing un­der pre­vi­ously, or why you are be­ing treated the way you are. But if you are so de­pressed that you are harm­ing your­self or con­tem­plat­ing sui­cide, you need more help than I can give you here. I re­peat, PLEASE DON’T WAIT.

DEAR ABBY >> My girl­friend, whom I have been dat­ing for more than a year, has iso­lated her­self from me and all her friends be­cause her makeup came off while she was in a hot tub and ev­ery­one saw her with­out it. She’s inse­cure about her ap­pear­ance and has worn heavy makeup ev­ery day since she was 12. When she went into the hot tub, the heat melted it off, and when she saw it was gone, she started cry­ing and left the party early.

She hasn’t talked to me or any of her friends since. Her brother said she was em­bar­rassed about be­ing seen with­out makeup and doesn’t want to talk to any­one. It has been two weeks since I last spoke to her, and she hasn’t even talked to her sis­ter in more than a week. I don’t know what I should do.

— Hot tub melt­down

DEAR HOT TUB MELT­DOWN >> As­sum­ing that your girl­friend isn’t an ac­tress, model or other celebrity who must be cam­er­aready at ev­ery mo­ment, she seems overly pre­oc­cu­pied with her ap­pear­ance. Un­less she has an un­sightly skin con­di­tion she’s self-con­scious about, her ex­treme over­re­ac­tion isn’t nor­mal. If she is a mi­nor, her par­ents should be told what’s go­ing on so they can get her some psy­cho­log­i­cal help, be­cause she ap­pears to need it. If she’s an adult, then the per­son who should urge her to do so is you.

Dear Abby is writ­ten by Abi­gail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Con­tact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los An­ge­les, CA 90069.

For every­thing you need to know about wed­ding plan­ning, or­der “How to Have a Lovely Wed­ding.” Send your name and mail­ing ad­dress, plus check or money or­der for $7 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby, Wed­ding Book­let, P.O. Box 447, Mount Mor­ris, IL 61054-0447. (Ship­ping and han­dling are in­cluded in the price.)

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