Rel­a­tives’ com­ings and go­ings leave their sis­ter at a loss

Daily Local News (West Chester, PA) - - YOUR DAILY BREAK - Dear Abby

DEAR ABBY >> My older brother and son live with me. We are all adults, so we don’t need to ask each other’s per­mis­sion be­fore one of us leaves the house. Out of cour­tesy, I let them know where I’m go­ing, who I’ll be with, and if I am likely to be out late. When I’m out, if I re­al­ize that I’ll be gone later than I thought, I text them. To me, this is com­mon cour­tesy.

My brother and son say good­bye when they leave, but rarely vol­un­teer any in­for­ma­tion about their plans. I hate to ask, be­cause they are adults and it’s none of my busi­ness, but it just seems rude. I’m of­ten star­tled when they come home late and I am awak­ened, un­til I know it’s them and not some­one break­ing in. If I wake up and they aren’t home, I worry. Am I right to ex­pect them to tell me where they are go­ing and if they will be late?

— An­noyed sis­ter

DEAR AN­NOYED >> To ex­pect to be told where your older brother and adult son are go­ing and with whom seems like a lot of in­for­ma­tion to de­mand. How­ever, be­ing in­formed what time they will be back so you won’t think some­one is break­ing in not only would be thought­ful but also prac­ti­cal.

DEAR ABBY >> I suffer from se­vere sea­sonal al­ler­gies. I have wa­tery eyes and sneeze dur­ing Jan­uary and Fe­bru­ary ev­ery year. I went to an al­ler­gist last win­ter, but he couldn’t do much for me.

As I strug­gle to get through my days as qui­etly as pos­si­ble, ev­ery sneeze seem­ingly elic­its a “God bless you” from some stranger. If I’m un­able to ac­knowl­edge it, I of­ten get a “Well, thank you!” or some other show of in­dig­na­tion.

Abby, I don’t need “bless­ings.” Call­ing at­ten­tion to my dif­fi­cul­ties, frankly, just an­noys and em­bar­rasses me. I am try­ing the best I can to be quiet and avoid dis­rup­tion. Can you please ask your many read­ers to end this ancient, silly con­ven­tion and let those of us with al­ler­gies suffer in peace?

— Atchoo in Kansas City

DEAR ATCHOO >> No. The “God bless you” con­ven­tion orig­i­nated in the Mid­dle Ages. Peo­ple thought that when some­one sneezed the soul left the body for a minute, and would be snatched by the devil if some­one didn’t say “God bless you.” Those who say it to­day may be do­ing it be­cause it has be­come a con­di­tioned re­flex, or to be po­lite. Ac­cept the kind ges­ture and kwitchur­bitchin.

DEAR ABBY >> After be­com­ing en­gaged re­cently, I was ex­cited to ask my best friend to be my brides­maid. How­ever, her hus­band can’t stand the thought of her get­ting dolled up and walk­ing down the aisle after the cer­e­mony with an­other man.

I want to be re­spect­ful, but this just seems over the top. Their daugh­ters will be flower girls. I don’t un­der­stand why this is an is­sue. Would it be best for her to just at­tend the wed­ding? This is break­ing my heart. What’s a bride to do?

— Re­spect­ful in Ken­tucky

DEAR RE­SPECT­FUL >> Your friend’s hus­band ap­pears to be in­se­cure and con­trol­ling. Your next move should be to ask your friend how she plans to han­dle this — so that she and the girls can be re­placed if nec­es­sary.

Dear Abby is writ­ten by Abi­gail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Con­tact Dear Abby at www.Dear­Abby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los An­ge­les, CA 90069.

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