Dad’s notes fol­low daugh­ter ev­ery­where on her honeymoon

Daily Local News (West Chester, PA) - - YOUR DAILY BREAK - Dear Abby is writ­ten by Abi­gail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Con­tact Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los An­ge­les, CA 90069.

DEAR ABBY >> I am a new bride in my mid-20s. I’m writ­ing about my dad.

At the wed­ding din­ner, he read a list of rea­sons he “let” me get mar­ried. Granted, he thought it was funny, and he al­ways needs to be the cen­ter of at­ten­tion. But dur­ing our honeymoon abroad, he sent me mes­sages at ev­ery junc­ture and each ho­tel.

Maybe he’s hav­ing a hard time “let­ting go,” but is this nor­mal? Frankly, I found it creepy. My honeymoon was my and my new hubby’s time to en­joy, and so much in­tru­sion felt like stalk­ing. I am not par­tic­u­larly close to Dad. Am I over­re­act­ing?

— Newlywed in Cal­i­for­nia

DEAR NEWLYWED >> You stated that your fa­ther likes to be the cen­ter of at­ten­tion. Your wed­ding din­ner may have been yet an­other ex­am­ple of it.

A lot of hu­mor is based on truth, and Dear Old Dad’s think­ing may be rooted in the 19th cen­tury or ear­lier, when women needed their fa­ther’s per­mis­sion to marry. That he would in­sert him­self into your honeymoon does seem over the top for some­one with whom you are not par­tic­u­larly close. If he per­sists, you and your hus­band should have a talk with him and tell him it’s mak­ing the both of you un­com­fort­able and ask him to please stop.

DEAR ABBY >> Many busi­nesses these days out­source their cus­tomer ser­vice de­part­ments to phone cen­ters in other coun­tries where the per­son an­swer­ing the phone speaks very lit­tle English or has a weak com­pre­hen­sion of the English lan­guage. Please don’t get me wrong, they are po­lite, pa­tient and try hard to be help­ful, but many times it is dif­fi­cult to get a ques­tion an­swered or an is­sue suc­cess­fully dealt with be­cause the per­son doesn’t un­der­stand what you are say­ing or you are hav­ing trou­ble un­der­stand­ing.

Of­ten I have spent much of my call ask­ing the per­son to re­peat him or her­self, or re­peat­ing my­self to them. Is there a po­lite way of say­ing, “Hey, get me some­one who speaks English”? I have never said that, but I’m of­ten tempted. Usu­ally the call ends in frus­tra­tion with un­re­solved is­sues. I don’t want to be rude or hurt some­one’s feel­ings, but what do you do when busi­ness needs to be con­ducted?

— Bon­nie in Montana

DEAR BON­NIE >> If you call cus­tomer ser­vice and have trou­ble un­der­stand­ing the per­son you are speak­ing with or feel you are not be­ing prop­erly un­der­stood, ei­ther ask to talk to a su­per­vi­sor or with some­one whose first lan­guage is English. To do that isn’t rude; it al­lows for the most pro­duc­tive use of your time as well as the per­son at the other end of the phone.

DEAR ABBY >> I’m a 22-year-old plus-sized fe­male who is hav­ing trou­ble feel­ing beau­ti­ful. I have tried makeup, dif­fer­ent out­fits — noth­ing seems to work. My boyfriend keeps telling me I’m beau­ti­ful, but it is not easy for me to see. What do you think I should do? — Shat­tered mir­ror in


DEAR SHAT­TERED >> There’s a say­ing that beauty is in the eyes of the be­holder. If your boyfriend keeps telling you that you are beau­ti­ful, then in HIS eyes you are. Be­cause when you look in a mir­ror you only find fault with your­self, it ap­pears that you don’t like your­self much. Dis­cuss this with a li­censed psy­chother­a­pist to get to the bot­tom of it and learn to ap­pre­ci­ate the beauty your boyfriend sees.

Dear Abby

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