Piscopo, Christie, Murphy and more: Politics round-up

And now, a quick tour around the New Jersey political landscape. Please put on your safety goggles. Let’s start with …

STATE OF THE STATE? NOT GREAT: This Tuesday, Gov. Chris Christie — he of the famed Chinese delicacy, Moo Shoo Lame Duck — will give his final State of the State speech. I think it’s going to be a showstopper. After all, what’s the guy got to lose at this point? I expect him to go heavy on the addiction thing, which is nice, but what I’m most curious about is what he has to say about his school funding plan, which is about as controversial as abortion.

He floated the idea back over the summer, and it’s an easy one: Every child gets the same amount of my money, Abbott districts are destroyed, property taxes go down the further you get into suburbia. If this ever got to a ballot question, it would pass in a heartbeat. Suburban voters would carry the day. But it probably won’t go there, and the Democrats are surely not going to pass it as a block. But if you’re a Democrat in a contested race in the ‘burbs and your constituents would like to see a $3,000 reduction in property taxes, then … well, I’m very curious to see how hard Christie pushes for this.

START SPREADING THE NEWS: Joe Piscopo, who made a name for himself — along some dude named Eddie Murphy — as the only bright spots in the post-Lorne Michaels years of “Saturday Night Live.” Hard to believe now, but Piscopo was pretty much the star of the show, even eclipsing Murphy the first two years. Since then? A few movies, some commercials, talk radio, switching from Democrat to Republican becoming a Trumpite and … all but surely running for governor this year. And you know what? Much like Trump, Piscopo has that “man of the people” vibe, only in his case, it actually comes across as genuine. In short: Don’t sleep on Piscopo. Wouldn’t surprise me one bit if he ends up taking the GOP nomination.

YOU CAN’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO: Those are basically the words of Our Next Governor Phil Murphy. (Actually, if Piscopo wins on the Republican side, things are going to get messy. I need to rename Murphy. Let’s start over.)

YOU CAN’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO REDUX: Our Next Governor Unless He’s Facing Piscopo Phil Murphy said last week he would basically start a Civil War with soon-to-be President Trump if it came down to it. “I will not take orders if I believe they are un-American or if they are not consistent with our Constitution,” Murphy told Observer.com “I am not going to sell out dreamers or split up families or register people based on their religion.”

Man, are the next four years going to be superduper fun or what?

LESNIAK IS IN!: Longtime New Jersey legislator Ray Lesniak is running for the Democrat nod for governor. Against Murphy. Come on. Just stop it Ray.

CORYBOOKER2020.COM IS ALREADY TAKEN: Senator Cory Booker gave a local television interview the other day. In New Hampshire. Draw your own conclusions. My conclusion is this: Cory Booker is planning on running for president in 2020.

MORE MOO SHOO LAME DUCK: I legit feel bad for Christie at this point. Guy tried so hard to get in the White House, and now he’s back here in New Jersey. Where he uh … always planned to stay? The guy is going around touting the fact he’ll be the first full two-term New Jersey governor since Tom Kean. Just as he drew it up, I’m sure.