Is it fair for God to allow some to be parentless

Dear Chaplain: I’m a struggling college student trying to get through school the best I can on my own. My father is incarcerated and my mom has addiction issues. Neither of them are around or interested in my life. My grandparents try to help me as much as they can but they’re getting older so I don’t want to ask them for too much. How is it fair that God would allow me to have “no” parents when most people have at least 1 one to support them? And how do I not let it bother me when I’m around my friends and their parents? It really hurts to see them with great parents and I have none. — Signed, Nobody’s Child

Dear Nobody’s Child: First, I thank you so much for your question. Second, I’m so sorry for all that you’ve gone through. And third, I realize one of the hardest things to cope with in life is the rejection of a parent. To be rejected by a parent goes against nature, basic instincts, and the natural order of life. It’s almost impossible for a child to mentally process that a parent does not want them. It leaves emotional scars that never completely disappear and holes in the heart that no other person can fill. Unless you’ve experienced this type of rejection, you can’t fully understand the depths of the pain. This was not God’s plan nor desire for our lives. God created a perfect world and he placed in it perfect people. His intentions were for us to live in paradise forever with him. However, we (mankind) messed that up by making wrong choices, causing all of us to be subjected to rejection, hurt, harm, and danger ... physically, emotionally and spiritually. The truth is, we are all struggling. We all have crosses to bear, even those who appear to have it all. But the good news is this, God in his love, compassion, and tender mercy, did not leave us helpless or hopeless, especially those without parents. The Lord knew how difficult it would be and that no other person could take the place of parents. So God himself, in all of his awesomeness, promised to step up to the plate and step into our hearts and lives when our parents leave us. He becomes our father, as it is written in Psalms 68:5, “God is a father to the fatherless,” if we’ll have him. And he promises to sustain the fatherless (Psalms 146:9) and to rescue them when they’re in trouble (Job 29:12). God is so protective over the parentless children that he warns others not to take advantage of them, but rather to help them (Exodus 22:22 and Proverbs 23:10). God even judges people’s religion based on how they treat the fatherless (“Pure and undefiled religion is caring for the fatherless,” James 1:27). King David experienced this type of parental love, which is why he could say with confidence in Psalm 27:10, “When my father and mother forsake me then the Lord will take me up.” David learned to receive love and guidance from the Lord, in place of his absent parents. I can’t promise that this tender area of your life won’t be painful from time to time, or that it will ever seem fair that you’re the person without your parents, but in those times I encourage you to remember that you are somebody’s child, you’re God’s child, and it’s pretty special that he promises to be for you all that your parents are not. Finally, I encourage you to seek counseling and/or a local or online support group, it may be helpful to talk out and process your feelings in a healthy environment. May God richly bless you. Ask the Chaplain is written by Rev. Dayna Spence, an ordained minister, licensed evangelist, and chaplain who’s served as a hospital chaplain and is currently serving as a hospice chaplain Chester County area. Please email “Ask the Chaplain” at 4thechaplain@gmail.com or write to, PO Box 1284, West Chester, PA 19380.