Horoscopes

Aries (March 21-April 19): Though generations before you did things a certain way and the principles they used to get through life are still relevant today, modern problems require you to build on that foundation. You’ll acquire new tools in the weeks to come. Taurus (April 20-May 20): The best way to predict what happens next is still the same as always: Make it happen. Today’s work may be a bit rushed, but it’s still remarkable and generous if not as polished as it might have been had you more time. Gemini (May 21-June 21): The antidote to selfishness is publicity. Most would avoid the shame of being called out for putting one’s own interests before the interests of loved ones, teammates or the group — unless, of course, selfishness is the cultural norm. Cancer (June 22-July 22): Is any creature on the earth built for empathy? It could be argued that empathy plays against individual survival instincts. It’s definitely not the first instinct of humankind, yet it’s definitely required for the survival of our species. Leo (July 23-Aug. 22): Don’t wait until life forces you to sprint. Just sprint to energize things. Just sprint to prove that you can. No one can sprint for the whole of the race, but a good marathon runner builds the occasional sprint into the over-all plan. Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): You’re going to do the brave thing — not because you have less to lose (if you had nothing to lose, it wouldn’t be brave) but because you realize more than the others do that your action is what’s sorely needed. Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 23): The situation will trigger your competitive instincts. Suddenly it will be important to dress, talk and move like the winner. Much of this will come naturally to you, although some degree of study may also be involved. Scorpio (Oct. 24-Nov. 21): You won’t be satisfied with just any result. You want your work to be artful and useful, or you’d rather not turn it in at all. The thing is, you’re not the best judge of this today. Just turn it in. Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): The omens warn against selling your future for today’s quick fix, and yet fixing something quickly doesn’t always spell trouble in the future. So examine your options from a long-term perspective, and do your best.

In general, your life is easier when you make fewer promises. However, everything you do sets up an expectation. The promises are implicit. And every one you keep builds trust that you’ll keep them in the future, too. Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): How you imagine yourself will define your position. What one person considers a position of weakness another may consider a position of strength. Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20): As you climb the mountain to get a better view you make yourself more conspicuous to those below. This may not be your aim, but you should be aware that the beauty and knowledge you seek will make you more influential. DEAR ABBY » My wife passed away two years ago at age 40 after a long bout with cancer. We had three children, ages 7 to 12. I am 44 and engaged now to a wonderful woman. We are planning to have a small wedding with fewer than 50 guests.

While the kids and I are doing well, my late wife’s mother, “Karen,” is still grieving. She has a forceful personality and can be quite pushy. She lives nearby.

We have not finalized the arrangements or sent out invitations. Karen has been asking if she and my former father- in-law are invited, but we haven’t answered her yet. She says she’s hurt because she feels we don’t want her there.

Is it proper etiquette to invite the parents of a deceased spouse to a remarriage? The only people she would know aside from us would be my parents, who need to bond with my fiancee’s family who are coming from out of town. The kids seem to not care either way. If it were me, I’d feel awkward being there. Help! — Looking to the future in

Illinois

DEAR LOOKING » Although your late wife is gone, her parents are still your children’s grandparents and therefore should be treated as part of your family. While you might feel awkward if you were in their position, consider how hurt they will be if they are not included on the guest list. The decision whether to attend should be theirs to make.

Welcome them and treat them with kindness. A wife can be “replaced,” but a daughter cannot, which is why Karen is still grieving even though you have gone on with your life.

DEAR ABBY » I need advice on how to deal with a friend/neighbor’s messy, unkempt backyard. We are getting ready to put our house on the market, and I’m concerned their yard may be a deterrent to potential buyers. Their pool looks like a swamp, and various pieces of lawn furniture are strewn about the yard. Tables are turned upside down and random items are thrown about.

They are friends of ours, but I have no clue how to broach such a sensitive topic without upsetting them. Please help.

— Living next to a swamp

DEAR LIVING » Because those neighbors are friends, I assume they are aware that you are selling your home. If you live in an area that’s prone to any dangerous mosquito-borne viruses, you would be doing them a favor to point out that their pool equipment needs fixing because still water makes an excellent breeding place for mosquitoes.

As to the state of their yard, your real estate agent may have some suggestions about how to handle that. If you and your spouse volunteer to help your neighbors make it more attractive, they might be receptive. However, if they refuse and you live in a community with a neighborhood association that regulates how properties must look in order to preserve their value, consider bringing this to its attention.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two booklets: “Abby’s Favorite Recipes” and “More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby.” Send your name and mailing address, plus check or money order for $14 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby, Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Shipping and handling are included in the price.)