Horoscopes

Aries (March 21-April 19): Humans are fallible creatures with a strong capacity to learn and grow. It’s why you don’t even mind when someone criticizes you today. It’s a chance to improve and maybe even solve something you’ve been struggling with. Taurus (April 20-May 20): The wise Roman emperor Marcus Aurelius suggested that it is not the external things that pain us, but our judgment of them, which is within our power to wipe out. To alleviate stress, you’ll change your mind about something today. Gemini (May 21-June 21): Some people throw stones; other people build with them. Figure out whom you’re dealing with and what they can and can’t be trusted with. What hangs in the balance here may be your heart. Cancer (June 22-July 22): When people act out of love, it brings them together. When they act out of fear, it drives them apart. This is why no one can be forced, intimidated or manipulated into loyalty, affection or love. Leo (July 23-Aug. 22): Ask any pilot: Course correction is more or less a constant in the air. To avoid the storms, air traffic and more, pilots and autopilots are constantly making adjustments to the flight plan. Today’s course will require this of you. Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): So much about the interactions of the day won’t be personal. Stay a bit detached to better see how things work. Bottom line: The person you want to pay attention to you will need some extra reason to do so. Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 23): As for the rules of the game, it’s not what they are that matter — rather, it’s that all of the players agree on what they are. To know this for sure, you may have to break it down point by point. Scorpio (Oct. 24-Nov. 21): The cosmic suggestion is to throw kindness like confetti — which is to say, directly up, so it can rain down wherever. If you aim kindness, or confetti, too forcefully or directly, injury can occur. Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Take a look around you to determine whether your surroundings are supporting you in the direction you want to grow. Location isn’t everything, but right now it’s much, much more important than you might have guessed. Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): You’d like to be sure you’re on the same page as those under your charge. But if you give them too much of the plan up front, they’ll either be intimidated by the task, or they’ll second-guess you. Keep it on a need-to-know basis. Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): People will do illogical things to regain power. They will act irrationally to preserve a sense of self or the continuity of their personal story. If you want them to be predictable and manageable, pose no threat whatsoever. Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20): Small problems, if not corrected, can become big problems. Good news: It won’t take you very long at all to rectify the seemingly little and inconsequential issues (that actually have great potential for consequence). DEAR ABBY » Six years ago, my husband of 20 years was in a serious accident. He was placed on disability because of it. Because of the accident, he can’t perform sexually because his “goods” don’t work. I am many years younger than he is and still in my prime. I need and want the cuddling and intimacy I’m not getting and haven’t gotten for years. I have thought about finding a friend with benefits, but that’s risky. I can’t talk to him because he flips out and says, “Then leave!”

I feel our marriage has become just a living arrangement. Talking to a counselor or a doctor is out because he will refuse. Please help.

— Lost and lonely

DEAR LOST AND LONELY » Your marriage doesn’t have to be “just a living arrangement.” Although sex may no longer be possible with your husband, there’s no reason why there can’t be cuddling, intimacy and affection. Talking to a licensed marriage and family therapist will be helpful for you, whether or not your husband agrees to go with you.

DEAR ABBY » My wife, “Cheryl,” and I have been married for 47 years. We are both over 70 and retired. Cheryl is a wonderful mother, grandmother, cook and more. We love to travel, dance, go to movies and play with our grandchildren.

The issue is, she’s very picky with the housekeeping and refuses to hire any help because she says nobody can do the job she does. I feel it’s affecting our marriage because after she spends a full day once a week cleaning, she ends up exhausted and in a bad mood. I also feel guilty while she’s doing all that work.

I don’t think either one of us should have to do it. We are well-off and can easily pay someone to come for a full day of cleaning once a week. I keep telling her, to no avail, that she can’t keep doing it forever. I welcome your suggestions.

— Needing help in Texas

DEAR NEEDING HELP » Cheryl may think what she’s doing is being a good old-fashioned housewife. Enlighten her to the fact that you feel her compulsiveness is detrimental to your marriage. Try this: Tell her again you want her to give a housekeeper a chance. Repeat that you can afford it. Explain that if she’s not satisfied after the person has cleaned, you won’t argue if she puts the “finishing touches” on what the cleaner may have missed. If you hire someone efficient, there won’t be a lot left for her to do, and she won’t be exhausted.

DEAR ABBY » My boyfriend, “Troy,” takes it as a personal offense that I won’t share a hotel room with him and his younger son (age 15) when we go out of town to see his older son play college sports. Troy wants me to go to all of the games, but I have said I will only go when it’s the 15-yearold’s weekend to be at his mom’s (Troy’s two sons have different mothers).

I am extremely uncomfortable sharing the same hotel room, and Troy refuses to get separate rooms. Do you agree that I’m unreasonable? — “Bad sport” in Ohio DEAR “BAD SPORT” » No, I do not. You should not be talked into doing anything that makes you uncomfortable, so stick to your guns.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.