Pondering the scariest times in life

From an early age, people have to deal with a lot of scary things in life. The first was probably popping out of that dark chamber … into the hands of a doctor, wearing a mask, who is hurrying to make his tee time at the country club.

Over the next few years there was the first visit to Santa Claus, the boogie man under the bed and the monster in the basement.

In later years it was, for boys, the first curve ball that started at your head and broke over the plate. For girls, it was that first kiss.

You might think the scary experiences in life would end … as the years flew by and maturity started to take over. Not true.

Talk to most parents and they will admit that two of the scariest things in life come in rather rapid succession.

The first is those months immediately after a child – yes a child of 16 – gets a driver’s license. If there is anyone who does not think there will be more than a few dangerous moments … then they really don’t know anything about a child of 16.

The second comes during the process of sending a child to college. That is especially true today, when shipping a child off to college is like sending them to a cult … on another planet … in another universe.

A recent visit to the Outer Banks in North Carolina saw an active day unwind into a leisurely dinner at a local favorite, JK’s Steak & Seafood. The private room, decorated with action rodeo photos, provided the perfect atmosphere. Scary scenes … scary dinner topics.

Back to the perils of raising children. All three of the fathers – who had no idea they would be my subjects for an evening of analysis – had two children. The first had two in high school, one of which was just learning to drive. The second had two in college. The third had two millennials, now trying to make their way in the work world.

The first sent his children to a Christian high school. Despite the structure provided by a religious background, there was still plenty of apprehension. Much of it centered on the upcoming decision regarding college.

The father had attended a small, private college in the midlands of North Carolina. It came with a modest $12,000 a year tuition – in his day. Now the tuition is $58,000. A new, cosmopolitan atmosphere had overtaken the school – under a new, very progressive president. He claims his main objective is to prepare the students for the real world. Some of his most noted initiatives are establishing a concierge service that makes dinner reservations for students at area restaurants. Employees circulate the campus and pass out free ice cream to students on hot days … and distribute umbrellas on rainy days.

And that is supposed to prepare them for life in the real world. His kids will NOT be going to his alma

mater.

The second, with one in college and one about to enter college, was looking a bit shell-shocked. Perhaps it was the strain of tuition payments. At least he avoided the trap of the ultra-expensive private liberal arts schools – the ones with a very limited postgraduate network. Syndicated radio host Dennis Prager points to them as the worst Return On Investment in America.

His oldest stayed in-state and attends the University

of North Carolina. He hopes the second follows.

The third member of our cocktail-steak-cocktail roundtable discussion has already been through two college experiences and the extended find-a-relevant job search. Perhaps that’s why he has very little hair left on his head.

He told the familiar stories of his children changing majors, spending extended years in college, yet he still helped to pay the

bills long after graduation. Of course, all of this was interspersed with stories of underage drinking, potsmoking and midnight calls from the police station.

Soon, thanks to all of the preparation they received from an over-priced, nonrelevant college education, they will be the leaders of the country … of the world.

Yes, these are common examples of the scariest times in life.

Can someone please explain why the examples from the Year 2018 seem so much more terrifying than the boogie man under the bed ever was?

Tony Leodora is president of TL Golf Services, host of the weekly GolfTalk Live radio show on WNTP 990-AM and host of the Traveling Golfer television show — as well as editor of GolfStyles magazine. He is former sports editor of The Times Herald. Send comments to tlgolfservices@aol.com.