Horoscopes

Aries (March 21-April 19): Being constantly up for critique is a grind, but at least you can take heart in the fact that this is a direct result of being known, significant and integral to the lives of others. Taurus (April 20-May 20): You’ll be entering into new challenges, and you could really use a coach. There are behaviors that will be expected, and it will pay to know what they are and exactly how to execute them. Gemini (May 21-June 21): There’s an ancient part of your brain that couldn’t care less about your hopes and dreams. It wants what it wants — and now. It’s completely irrational and extremely strong. Success depends on your ability to trick it. Cancer (June 22-July 22): Should you punish yourself for a mistake? Your aim is to avoid repeating it, and you think the harshness would help you remember. It might indeed motivate you in the short term, but in the long term it would do the opposite. Leo (July 23-Aug. 22): You know what you want with great clarity and detail. You can see it in your imagination. Taking the time to visualize this again and again will help you have the willpower to overcome obstacles and prevail in weaker moments. Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Get on your own side. It’s especially important on days such as today, when you’re taking on something new. Keep reminding yourself that you’re just as worthy as anyone else who’s done this before. With confidence, you’ll excel. Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 23): Love is a very real human need, but you can’t eat it. However, with a degree of contentment, care and a sense of belonging, you will be relaxed, clever and resilient enough to figure out how to make money. Scorpio (Oct. 24-Nov. 21): One great thing about the past is that it got you here. Another great thing about it is that the bad parts are over. So bless it and leave it back there, where it belongs. Better days are ahead. Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): To realize our full potential, our ego needs to shrink, not grow. The desire to feel special is understandable, yet no one should have to feel superior in order to feel worthy of respect and love. Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Take a warm and understanding approach to yourself. Your suffering won’t lessen if you’re hard on yourself. You won’t overcome perceived shortcomings by merely demanding it. Try self-compassion instead. Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Accept yourself with an open heart. The constant need to assess how you’re measuring up is exhausting and benefits no one, least of all you. Drop it and enjoy the sense of wholeness and oneness with others that follows. Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20): The correctness of an action may be difficult to discern right now, as there are many facets to consider. Think in terms of doing what’s helpful and what’s useful instead of merely what’s correct. Today’s birthday (Aug. 13): Interesting meetups, family connections and professional alliances are part of the excellent social luck that visits you over the next 10 weeks. A change in what you offer the world (perhaps as a result of new training) will show you making a dream come true in November and making an important deal in June. Libra and Sagittarius adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 5, 28, 44, 3 and 19. DEAR ABBY » I have been dating “James” for almost a year. Things have been rough for him recently. His depression has led to school attendance issues, but we got through it.

The problem is James’ mother. She’s well meaning, and she has always been incredibly sweet to me, but she has started texting and questioning me about how I am doing, regarding her son and the “trials” he brings to our relationship (or her perception of them). I appreciate her concern, but it makes me very uncomfortable.

Perhaps she asks out of concern for me, but it seems like she’s trying to speak on his behalf or defend him somehow, which makes me feel awful. How can I explain to her that something which is meant to be as simple as “Are you doing OK?” is hurting me? — Twisted up

DEAR TWISTED UP » If James’ depression is severe enough that it is interfering with his education, his mother has a right to be concerned. She may be trying to assess its severity by reaching out to you. On the other hand, “How are you doing?” can be classified as an innocent question.

Because you are uncomfortable with the way these conversations are going, respond that you are fine and ask her how SHE is doing. You do not have to engage in conversations with anyone who makes you uncomfortable, and if someone ventures into sensitive territory, you have every right to say you prefer not to discuss it and change the subject. If she wants information about her son, the person she should be asking is him.

DEAR ABBY » My husband is still working, although he will retire in a few years. We have been in our home since 1987. It is comfortable, but it’s too big for us and too much work now. Our grandkids live four hours away, and we are thinking about moving near them. My son’s in-laws have already relocated from New York.

I am having terrible anxiety about leaving my home and our large lot, which is covered with beautiful trees in all seasons. We have looked at “over-55” communities, and the yards are small and treeless. I love my trees — especially the magnolia my husband and sons planted many years ago. I also adore seeing all the birds and wildlife.

How do other relocators handle the move? I know I should focus on the positive aspects, such as getting rid of our clutter and being near the grands, but I’m having trouble with this. Help, please.

— Getting ready in Georgia

DEAR GETTING READY » I’m glad you wrote now, because you have lots of time to plan the move you are considering. If what you will miss the most about your home is the trees, perhaps the over-55 communities in the area to which you are relocating are not for you. Take some time, talk with a real estate agent and explore what smaller homes might be right for you. However, if an over-55 community is a must, perhaps you can find one that’s near a park where you can go and enjoy the trees and wildlife.

As to the memories you will leave behind, you will always have them to look back on, and you will be creating new ones every day.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www. DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.