Daily Local News (West Chester, PA)
To leave or not to leave
To leave or not to leave an inheritance? That is the question.
If you asked your five closest friends, each of them might have a different response. Like many things in life, there is no simple answer that applies to all.
In all my years of talking with people I could make a case for both. I’ve seen positive and negative outcomes after a loved one passes away. I’ve certainly seen family relationships damaged after the loss of parents and the destructive aftermath, both financially and emotionally.
Of course, there are so many factors that must be taken into account in order to answer this question in your life. Since I don’t know your personal situation, instead of giving a concrete answer I have a series of other questions for you to consider.
• Are you currently living your best retirement possible?
• Would your children support you if you told them you were giving all your money to charity?
• Are your children (or perhaps other family members) able to live their best life without your financial support?
The answers to these three questions hold the power to reveal a great deal about the complexity of inheritance.
First, let’s acknowledge that “the best possible retirement” could be defined very differently depending on whom you ask. For your purposes, it requires a deep dive into what matters most to you. What do you want to accomplish in your retirement? Are you currently living the life you envisioned in retirement? More often than not, retirees’ dreams and goals are misaligned with the life they are actually living – and in my experience the cause is often financial unwillingness.
If you can relate, what is holding you back? If your answer is “finances” you should begin living the retirement lifestyle you always thought was
possible. You’ve worked hard for what you have. You deserve to enjoy it — and shouldn’t feel guilty “cracking your retirement nest egg.”
I’ve always felt that you can tell a great deal about adult children based on how they feel about their parents’ life savings. As parents we spend the better majority of our lives
giving to our children, and some retirees selflessly continue to do so. Again, this is a personal choice, but it’s one only you (and your spouse, if married) should make.
You should feel free to spend, save or give away however you choose. If you can honestly say that your loved ones sincerely want the same thing for you, you can feel confident you’re in good company. If they don’t, you may want to rethink your sacrifices. It’s your decision and yours
alone — don’t let anyone try to persuade you otherwise.
Of course, few things in life are clear cut. Sometimes there are exceptions to this philosophy. This is especially true for retirees who have adult children who are unable to live their best life without you. As the father of a son with special needs, I know this reality very well. If you can relate, you understand the importance of thinking not only about your best life, but theirs as well. This is
where advanced planning can come into play to make sure you’re living your best retirement, while also thinking about their financial future long after you’re gone.
Even if you and I were sitting together, I wouldn’t suggest that I know the best decision for you and your family, but I can tell you the worst decision is making no decision at all. A few months ago we lost another great American icon, Aretha Franklin. Like many others before her, she
died without a will. Her estate is estimated around $80 million and now the state of Michigan will have to decide the future of her inheritance.
There are few guarantees in life, but 100 percent of us will leave this Earth one day. And every single one of us will leave just as we came — with nothing. So if you can’t take it with you, at least make sure you leave with minimal regrets and maximum impact. We all get one chance, choose wisely! Tom Kalejta is an author of “Building Wealth, Protecting Dreams” and a financial advisor. He is intrigued by how Baby Boomers are changing retirement trends and lifestyles in the 21st century. He believes in inspiring his readers by talking less about money and more about reinvented possibilities — particularly when things don’t go as planned. He can be reached by emailing thomasakalejta@gmail. com.