Down Syndrome group seeks to break down barriers

Melissa Burgos has that look. Clear-eyed, defiant, ready to rumble. It’s a look born of desperation that quickly hardens into determination. It’s a look that, in my experience, is strictly the domain of a certain subset of motherhood.

I know the look well. My wife has the same one.

It’s the look of a mother who has a special needs child. It’s primal, and it’s unmistakable.

It’s easy to miss, too, if you’re not looking for it. I mean, I met Burgos at Starbucks in Pennington and she was as nice as they come. She’s a doctor, family medicine, so it probably goes with the territory. Seems like the type of person that is always there with a kind word.

But one of her children her son, Lee, 4 - has Down Syndrome and so don’t let the “nice doctor” bit fool you; she’s going to do whatever it takes to make sure everything works out for her boy. How is she going to do that? By doing her best to make sure everything is going to work out for everyone in central New Jersey (and beyond) with Down Syndrome.

Burgos is the president of the Down Syndrome Association of Central New Jersey, and she’s got a lot going on. For starters — and this is the “mark your calendar” segment of the column — March 23 is the group’s 5th annual Rock Your Socks Off Dance and Silent Auction, to be held at Rho Waterfront in Trenton. There will be a DJ, the NJ101.5 prize van, great food, the auction, all that stuff. It is in celebration of World Down Syndrome Day (March 21) and is the only Down Syndrome celebration in the greater area.

Additionally, the group will be opening “Club Dreams,” an enrichment center for kids and young adults with Down Syndrome, in the coming months. Located on Scotch Road in Ewing, the center will offer homework help, job skill training, socialization help ... basically a one-stop shop for kids and young adults in the area with Down Syndrome.

But wait, there’s more. As a doctor, Burgos is trying to bust down doors of fellow medical professionals to tell them Down Syndrome is not what it was as recently as the 1980s, when life expectancies were in the 30s and many children were still being institutionalized. She’s holding talks at hospitals and the like to explain to doctors that people with Down Syndrome are … well, are pretty much like you and me.

And that, at the root, is Burgos’ mission. To dispel the myths and show the world kids with Down Syndrome - as well as kids with all other types of disabilities - should be thought of just like everybody else. It’s a battle. “I think in general there’s more of an air of acceptance,” Burgos said. “But the reality is people still can’t find jobs in the workplace. There aren’t a lot of opportunities. It’s still very limited. And then there’s … well, it’s mindboggling to know people still use the R-word. There’s just so much misunderstanding out there.”

Now don’t get the wrong idea - Borgos didn’t spend an hour complaining to me. We spent an hour talking about how we both think the world is going to be better for our kids. I mean, when I was a kid, all the children with any disability - from cerebral palsy to emotional issues, low IQ to autism - were lumped together in the same closed-off classroom. Today, inclusion rules the day. When I was a kid, it was still somehow OK to not be nice (or simply ignore) people with disabilities. Today, you’re seen as an ogre if that’s your M.O.

Typically developing kids today are being taught to respect people with differences. I see it everyday, and it gives me hope for the future, gives me hope my daughter, and Borgos’s son, and every other kid with differences will find a space in this world where they can attempt to fulfill the same hopes and dreams as the rest of us.

In the meantime, though … maybe throw a few bucks into the pot and Rock Your Socks off come March 23. Or maybe just sponsor a kid. Or maybe just say “hello, how are ya?” next time you encounter someone with Down Syndrome instead of looking the other way.

SUBMITTED PHOTO Melissa Burgos and her son, Lee.