Horoscopes

Aries (March 21-April 19): To flow with your own energy will be a challenge. It’s not about trying to will yourself to be more or less active, rather it’s about listening to the needs of your body, mind and soul. Taurus (April 20-May 20): You won’t know what the real deal is until you’re in it in person. Today, the hypotheticals are even less grounded than usual. Wherever possible, meet up in real life. Gemini (May 21-June 21): You’ll get to the goal faster when you include another person in the process. The down side is that you’ll either have to pay this person up front or on the back end, so it’s not the most cost-effective way. Cancer (June 22-July 22): You don’t have to be perfect to be loved, liked or included. You don’t have to be perfect to be persuasive, effective or accomplished. You don’t have to be perfect, period. Leo (July 23-Aug. 22): Don’t overthink. Plow through. Throwing money at a problem isn’t usually the best or most lasting solution; however, in today’s case, it will fix things quickly so you can move on. Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): You’ve used your talents to do good work, to position yourself and to contribute to your team. Now you’ll use them for the sole purpose of making someone else look good. They need you, and you need to help. So, it works out. Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 23): You don’t need yes-people around you to make you feel large and in charge. While it’s nice to get pumped up with compliments before you set out to conquer the world, it’s better when the boost comes from inside yourself. Scorpio (Oct. 24-Nov. 21): You are connected to someone in a mysterious way. This person shows up in your life unexpectedly, at the strangest times, and changes the way you think about what’s going on. Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Simple stories are easier to understand, but then again, they also leave a lot out — maybe the best stuff. To go directly from here to there is logical and unmemorable. There’s pleasure and usefulness in meandering. Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): If you could do the thing in half the time, it would be better. No catch. There’s nothing to miss in the half you’re about to cut out. Bottom line: This task is really taking too long; find another way. Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): When people aren’t telling the whole story, there’s a reason. If you ask directly, you’re unlikely to get the whole truth. Press gently and observe, or wait for unguarded moments to reveal more. This is worth knowing. Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20): Peer pressure is powerful and omnipresent. Wherever people are, there’s a pressure to conform to them. Spend as little time as possible with people who undervalue you. DEAR ABBY >> Thank you for responding to “Crystal in Nevada’s” June 7 question about her aunt and her aunt’s baby who was stillborn. Few people talk openly about pregnancy loss, yet I worry your response might discourage parents from remembering their children out loud, for fear it might seem too morbid for others.

My daughter, Evelyn, was born at 21 weeks gestation and died at birth. She would turn 7 this fall. I think about her every day. In the wake of her death, I sought help from a pastor, and I also belong to a support group.

Every year on her birthday, my spouse and I put a birthday candle on a cake or a stack of pancakes or a tiny cookie. This is important to us, and this is how we remember her. I wonder if this is “truly sad.” How ought we remember her? She was real to us.

People remember anniversaries around grief in different ways, and we should be cautious about judging what is and is not appropriate. If a person’s grief gets in the way of everyday living, then she or he should seek counseling. But a person acting out their grief on the anniversary of a loss should evoke our empathy rather than judgment. I hope Crystal’s aunt knows there is a whole sisterhood/brotherhood out here who will remember her baby with her.

— Adrianne in Pennsylvania

DEAR ADRIANNE >> I’m glad you wrote. I appreciate your reminding me that there are many ways to grieve. If it brings comfort to those who have suffered a loss, no judgment should be passed. I apologize to any and all grieving parents who were affected by my answer because it’s clear that my response caused hurt feelings, and for that I am truly sorry.

DEAR ABBY >> I’m a professional, independent female in my early 40s. I’m not sure how to handle a friend I’ve known for nearly 10 years. She’s beautiful, with a magnetic personality, but she has a terrible habit of lying and embellishing about things big and small, inconsequential and serious.

There have been times I’ve been appalled by the enormity of her lies, and embarrassed for her when someone indicates they’re aware that what she’s said isn’t true. I have gently reminded her more than once that it’ll catch up to her and encouraged her to be honest. She persists.

My problem: A few years ago, when she expressed a desire to “expand her circle,” she incorporated some of my closest friends and their friends. Boundaries have been blurred and the need to impress others (lie, greatly exaggerate) has grown worse. These new friends are drawn to her dynamic personality, yet I can no longer stomach her rampant dishonesty. Will I possibly lose or damage other relationships by ending my friendship with her? Should I label her a liar and watch her react? I don’t know if this friendship can be salvaged or if I even want to.

— Sick to my stomach

DEAR SICK >> You don’t have to make any grand announcements regarding this poor woman. Stepping back from a relationship with a compulsive liar should not damage your other friendships. People will soon recognize her for what she is, and will likely follow your example. If, however, you are ASKED why you no longer socialize with her, I think you should quietly answer the question truthfully.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.