Horoscopes

Aries (March 21-April 19): Dominance and aggression are poor ways to hold on to power. You’ll get an example of this today as people move away from overly controlling influences and toward those who comfort and assure. Taurus (April 20-May 20): How well do you understand people? Don’t guess; test it out. Interactions will show you more than a resume or interview could. Joint projects will be the best teachers. Gemini (May 21-June 21): When you genuinely care about the people you’re with, the qualities of leadership naturally flow from you. The first steps are to care and then to see a way to make things better for others. Cancer (June 22-July 22): Much will be said without words. In fact, the words will only complicate things unnecessarily. Because you’re paying attention you will get the real story, not the one in the brochure. Leo (July 23-Aug. 22): Whatever your weakness, that’s the part of the design that can be worked with, possibly made so strong that it’s the best part of the package — the part that draws people in. Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Not every role model is created equal. There are people in the business of helping others who only really help themselves. Don’t buy into a model that shows signs of greed. Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 23): The activities may not seem like anything negative, but when you don’t like where you end up, and you seem to end up there more often than not, those activities just aren’t working. Change it up. Scorpio (Oct. 24-Nov. 21): The thing you do in the moment might be impulsive or awkward or might lack a certain amount of emotional control that you wish you could claim. Who cares? The important thing is that you’re doing something. Credit yourself. Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Pointing fingers will be a temptation. Of course, it wouldn’t bother you about another person if you didn’t notice the quality somewhere in yourself. Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): With goal setting, getting the scale right is tricky — big enough to make a detectable difference but not so big as to be unattainable. You probably won’t nail this on the first try, so keep going until you do. Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): The same structure that protects us and brings shelter in our day-to-day life can also be a cage. It all comes down to choices, keys and the logic behind lit exit signs. Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20): It’s as though you’ve been through this scenario already in some kind of simulated drill. You may not remember it, but there’s a gut feeling left over that you can trust. DEAR ABBY >> I will soon be retiring from a lay position in my church. As a former member of the choir, I’m being urged to return to it, which appeals to me. My problem is a member who has caused trouble in the past for me with lies and criticism.

She is a very negative bully. In the past, she poisoned my ability to worship, and I want as little to do with her as possible. I’m afraid if I rejoin the choir, the situation will continue. I don’t want to upset the other choir members who are good, supportive friends, but I no longer want to have to put up with her. She’s very hard to ignore. Any suggestions? — Singing a new tune in

Canada

DEAR SINGING >> If you haven’t already done so, discuss this with the priest/pastor of your church. Explain how the woman’s bullying and rumor spreading have affected you and ask for guidance. If she’s the one sour note in the choir, it is possible she has done the same thing to others.

DEAR ABBY >> My son moved in with a 22-year-old woman in 2009. She gave birth to a baby boy in 2010. My son, who is older, took on the responsibility of raising the boy. In 2018, she walked out on them both and wasn’t heard from again. Through public records we found out that she had committed suicide.

My grandson is now 9. My question is, is he old enough to be told about his mother, or should my son wait until he’s older, like in his teens? I’m just wondering what’s the right thing to do.

— Right time in Florida

DEAR RIGHT TIME >> When your grandson asks about his mother, he should be told that she is no longer living. As he begins asking for more information, his questions should be answered in an age-appropriate way. He does not need to hear that she committed suicide until he is old enough to understand what she was suffering from and how sad you and your son are that her life ended the way it did.

DEAR ABBY >> Despite gastric bypass years ago, my wife is still very heavy. I’m no longer attracted to her, yet she is my best friend. I have thought about leaving her. Our kids are grown, so I wouldn’t have to pay child support. In a few years, I will be too old to pay alimony. However, even then, because where we live is so expensive, I would likely have to move out of state. I don’t want to move out of state or lose my best friend.

— Unsure in the West

DEAR UNSURE >> Before making any decisions based on the assumption that you won’t have to see that your wife is provided for financially, discuss this with an attorney. Because you don’t want to move away or lose your best friend, you may have to accept that, despite her weight-loss surgery, your wife has serious issues with food and, BECAUSE she is your best friend, love her in spite of it. Help her as much as you can with healthy eating and an exercise routine you can do together.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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