Horoscopes

Aries (March 21-April 19): You’ve made overgenerous gestures in the past and never been sorry for them, though you’ll toss and turn at night if you think you could have done more in the situation. Taurus (April 20-May 20): Those who are cut off from their own experiences will be uncomfortable embracing the full realm of experience, including some that most others experience in their day-today lives. Try to understand instead of judge this. Gemini (May 21-June 21): You’ve still got a chance to go where the sun is hot and the sunbathers are cool. Get your work done so you can enjoy your leisure. Get busy so you can have your fun.

Cancer (June 22-July 22): Because you are open and ready for new experiences, life will come rushing in to greet you. You’ll have fascinating exchanges, and you’re an essential part of the experience for others. Leo (July 23-Aug. 22): You’re in the middle-person position and therefore tasked to translate and mitigate. What one person thinks is hilarious will fall flat with the next. Consider your audience before you forward. Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): A friend minimizes the mistakes and maximizes the attributes and is generally on your side. Such friends help you understand what loyalty really looks like.

Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 23): The way things are laid out will make a huge difference in your efficiency and also in the feeling you have about an experience. You’ll do much in the way of organizing — an effort well spent. Scorpio (Oct. 24-Nov. 21): Tension is rigidity; relaxation is flexibility. A very special relationship will thrive because you strike just the right balance between these two states. Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Vacations aren’t always tremendously relaxing. In these times, they aren’t even tremendously vacationing. Nonetheless, there’s a place in your mind where you can take a break. Find it; do it.

Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): You’ll put in the extra effort to take good care of yourself. Since you know that lack of sleep or proper nourishment makes you cranky, you’ll be sure to plan to get both. Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): The voice of inspiration is difficult to hear if your inner chatter is loud enough drown it. Exercise is the easiest and fastest way to quiet your mind. Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20): You feel powerful but it’s not even the start of what you can become. Take charge of what you have control over and give no energy to the things outside of that.

DEAR ABBY » My daughter and son-in-law’s dog, “Zeke,” is a poor houseguest. We have kept him several times while they were vacationing. This last time, a long weekend, was very stressful.

Zeke is a hound dog (58 pounds) and stubborn. He jumps on furniture, jumps up to the kitchen counter and dining table trying to steal food, urinates in the house (not all the time, but often enough), doesn’t want to stay outside in the backyard unless someone is out there with him and, when he is outside alone, he constantly howls. He also chases our cats.

Whenever it’s muddy in our fenced backyard, he must be taken out to the front yard on a leash or he will catch a scent and run off. There are also potential sparring matches with our own dog that must be monitored, and at feeding time, they have to be separated.

Our daughter’s last trip was to be for 12 days. We said we didn’t want to keep him for that long, but we would continue to keep him for short stays. This has been a sore spot with her ever since. She feels Zeke is our “granddog,” and we should keep him anyway. I do not know how to handle this without causing any more bad feelings. Please advise.

— Above and beyond in Texas

DEAR ABOVE AND BEYOND » Your daughter’s dog is too much dog for you to handle and, in addition, poorly trained. He isn’t your “grand” anything. Stand your ground and quit trying to placate your entitled daughter. She should be grateful that you’re willing to take responsibility for the dog even for a short time. If that isn’t enough for her, “bow-wow” out by refusing to take Zeke at all. He’s her dog, and the problem should be hers, not yours.

DEAR ABBY » I am an empathetic person, and because of it, most of my friends and family members share things with me that they are going through in their lives. I feel pain with and for them, and have shed many tears with these people.

Most of the time, this is something I am happy to offer. I understand that not everyone has the same level of empathy or the skills to “be there” when people are going through a rough patch. But right now, I thought it might be good to share some things I have noticed when the roles were reversed and I found myself needing to share with others:

1. It’s not a competition! Now is not the time to share your similar experience. Let the person sharing just talk and resist the urge to relate your own stories.

2. Don’t try to offer solutions unless they are asked for. The majority of the time, the person just needs to say it out loud to someone, and then they are able to get their head or heart around it and figure things out.

3. Just listen. That’s all any of us want. We want to feel heard and important and that we matter. Listening can provide that to the person who is in pain.

Abby, thanks for letting me be heard. Even the strongest friends sometimes need someone.

— Learned from experience

DEAR LEARNED » AMEN! Life is about learning and growing. There is much wisdom in your letter and a practical lesson for those who sometimes put their foot in their mouths because they only want to help. Thank you for sharing.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.