Horoscopes

Aries (March 21-April 19): Whatever judgment you are having about another person, chances are you have the same one for yourself, though more acutely so. It’s a good reason to find something to like about each person you meet. Taurus (April 20-May 20): You’ll bring something special to the task just by intending to give it your all. You don’t have to go out of your way to be original — just do what comes naturally. Originality is your birthright. Gemini (May 21-June 21): We experience millions upon millions of words, many of which, however right for the moment they may be, are soon forgotten. To be memorable, do more than talk. Paint pictures.

Cancer (June 22-July 22): Put your mind to it, and there’s nothing you can’t turn around. A relationship that used to be on shaky ground now has a chance to become steady — if that’s what you want. Leo (July 23-Aug. 22): You don’t have to have it all together to help another person; you only have to be one step ahead. You’ll give whatever resources you have and bring good fortune upon yourself. Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): There is no way to separate “best” from “worst” as they are just different ways of seeing the same aspect of a thing. So, delve into whatever is bothering you deeper. Find, acknowledge and leverage the advantage.

Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 23): Distraction is a very effective way to avoid pain, though the avoidance of pain usually resolves nothing. Follow breadcrumbs left by your latest distraction to some truly worthy self-knowledge. Scorpio (Oct. 24-Nov. 21): There are actions you can very easily choose or not choose. Then there are compulsions, which you feel powerless to control if you are even aware of them. You’ll have luck taking those on today. Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Feelings don’t need to have some profound meaning to have value. The face value of a feeling is simply that it is feedback data. Feelings reflect your current position and point to possible next moves.

Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Maybe there are things that you would have understood if you had devoted more time to them, but your impatience has also led to many sound, fast and timely decisions. Accept all. Move on. Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): If everyone says it’s wonderful, it might be. Or, it might be dangerous, as things that take away critical thinking and the impulse for individual thought usually are. Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20): The more you learn, the surer you are about what you’re learning. It’s a sign — not that you’re right but that you have possibly become biased and will learn most from people who disagree with you.

DEAR ABBY » Although he has never hit me, my husband has been emotionally and verbally abusive ever since our wedding five years ago. One of his favorite names for me when he’s angry is “F----n’ B----.” I know this is my fault because I have tolerated it.

Today, my 2 ½-year-old daughter (who is usually a good girl) threw a tantrum and called me the same name twice. I try to discipline her, but she doesn’t understand that she’s saying something bad if Daddy can call me that. How can she? He blames me for her talking that way, saying he hasn’t called me that in a month. (He called me that last week. I don’t use that language.)

I have suggested marriage counseling in the past, but he refused. I can’t leave him because I am seven months pregnant with our second child. How do I get both of them to respect me?

— Disrespected in the East

DEAR DISRESPECTED » You know that appointment you wanted to make for you and your husband with a licensed marriage and family therapist? Make one for yourself, right now, because what’s going on isn’t healthy for you or your little girl.

Your husband demeans you because from the moment you married him you have allowed it. Your 2-year-old isn’t being disrespectful when she calls you what her father does. Children her age want attention, and they are mimics. Giving them attention when they use bad language reinforces them to do it more.

Please do as I’m suggesting before you conceive a third child. From your description of your relationship with your husband, his verbal abuse and the disrespect it conveys WILL be an example for your children that will follow them into adulthood.

DEAR ABBY » I am a 37-year-old mother of two (ages 9 and 11). My husband and I have built a beautiful life together. We live in close proximity to his family, whom I absolutely love.

My question involves my own family. My father passed away 2 ½ years ago. We were very close, so it is an ongoing struggle for me. My mother has since disowned me and my children. She’s a textbook narcissist who has said many very hurtful things and has a new man and new life. Our relationship was always strained, and I knew it wouldn’t be the same without Dad because he was the glue.

I have come to terms with this for myself, but we haven’t talked to our children about it. How do I explain to them that their grandma doesn’t want to be a part of their life? They love her and ask about her often, so I keep making stuff up.

She won’t answer phone calls from me or my husband. I believe she has us blocked. She has also blocked us on social media along with other family members.

I want my kids to know the truth, but I don’t want to hurt them. How can I do this?

— Motherless in Ohio

DEAR MOTHERLESS » Stick as close to the truth as you can, with some editing. If your children ask about their grandmother, explain that people deal with the death of a loved one in different ways. In your mother’s case, “She needed to look forward and not look back. Because your grandfather’s death was so painful, she is concentrating on things other than family, and although we might miss her, we should be comforted that she has found a way to cope. It may not be what we would have wished, but it is her way, and we have to respect it and go on with our own lives.”

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.