Daily Local News (West Chester, PA)
MY SWEET EMBRACEABLE YOU
Consider the hug. Simple enough, right? A hug is a hug… or is it? I definitely beg to differ!
As a huge proponent of the benefits of hugs, I can sense immediately a person’s personality type just by a hug.
I’m a hugger. Always have been, likely always will be. I have to say, the pandemic was tough on us huggers. It’s hard to hug and maintain social distance!
There are many kinds of hugs in this world. Of course, there is the one we encounter most, the polite hug. This is a socially acceptable form of greeting, used in those in-between circumstances … you know, when you are not exceedingly familiar with the person, but you can tell right away that they are warm and compassionate. It is brief and loose, but it is sincere.
I’ve used this many times when one of my daughters introduces me to a close friend of hers.
The adage, “Any friend of yours is a friend of mine” applies here. If my daughter loves you, you must be a good human being. I want them to “feel the love” but not feel creeped out! The hug is short in duration, and very loose — there is usually some space maintained.
Then there is the bridge hug. Shoulders are in close proximity, but your feet maintain a good 10 inches or so in distance. Usually this is cheek-to-cheek and is a more casual hug. Perhaps you are at a family reunion and there she is … Aunt Bertha, who you have not seen in decades. Other than the blood relation, you have no real connection. But it is Aunt Bertha, so she does
deserve a hug. This one is perfect.
Of course, coming from a Hispanic family, I’m very familiar with the hug and double-cheek kiss. Any friend or family member of a Latin family can tell you this is the norm when you meet someone for the first time. A heartfelt hug always accompanied by a kiss on each cheek. It is the equivalent of a handshake in other countries.
You’ve probably been the recipient of the patting hug, right? Where someone hugs you and pats your back simultaneously.
This, in my mind, is more of a comfort hug. It conveys concern and compassion. I also call it the bro hug, where two guys meet and, in a masculine way, mind you, share a hearty pat and cursory hug.
Then of course, there is the ragdoll hug, where one or both parties are devoid of commitment to the hug itself, rather just going through the motions because they think it is somehow an obligatory greeting. It’s aloof, no real emotion is conveyed. This reminds me of teenagers greeting each
other, just going through the pubescent motions of salutation.
The message is genuine, it’s a way of saying, “Hey. Nice to see you.”
Though it may lack substance, it still conveys a nice message.
Yes, there are many types of hugs, but by far, my favorite is the bear hug. This one is real, its message is clear. There is emotion conveyed. As the recipient of this hug, you walk away feeling the love, as it were.
Your kids and grandkids are a great example of this one. This kind of hug requires no words to accompany it. You just know. I experienced this one just a week ago, when a close friend and coworker retired. A friend for nearly two decades, she was moving hundreds of miles away. That final hug — there were volumes spoken with nary a word. The hug said it all. I love you too, lady.
Whatever kind of hug you encounter or give to others on any given day, enjoy it. A hug is great therapy, a great way to express your feelings and a great way to make someone’s day. Hugs are known to reduce stress, boost your immune system, reduce fear and help combat depression.
And it is a great way to make someone’s day. There are so many great side effects of a good hug. So don’t keep it to yourself — share generously!
In a study at a retirement community in New York, residents who shared three or more hugs a day were generally happier, slept better and shared better health. So, what do you have to lose? Hug someone today!