It could be the end as long-distance sweetie pulls back
Two years ago, at a national conference, I bumped into a woman I had dated decades ago. We started dating again, even though she lives in Phoenix and I live in the Midwest. The geographical distance between us is challenging, but we made it work through phone calls and traveling to see each other at least once a month.
It was working so well that we began discussing my relocating to Arizona so we could move in together. I thought that was our future until earlier this week. My lady friend just told me she wants to reduce the number of phone calls we've been having each week to three or less. She explained she needs more time to herself to deal with “challenges” she has been facing, and everything is fine with our relationship.
I was shocked because we had been talking two or more times a day as well as exchanging text messages. We have both faced significant challenges during our relationship and we had used our talks to figure out how to deal with them.
I said I wanted to talk more than three times a week. She says this won't work. She wants less contact — MUCH less. She also canceled our next in-person get-together. I feel like our relationship is heading for the rocks. When I expressed this, my girlfriend continued to insist everything is “fine” and we could have the same relationship with less contact. I disagree. What do you think?
— Completely Thrown
Because this lady didn't elaborate on what challenges she's facing, I think the abrupt change in her behavior may be her way of trying to let you down easy. I can't guess what may have caused her change of heart, but please accept my sympathy.
A family member does beautiful scrapbooks year-round. Her work is remarkable, and everyone enjoys looking at the finished product. I have become the photographer. Here is my dilemma: I know not everyone likes to have his or her picture taken. How do I approach this? I think it would be awkward to poll everyone about whether it's OK before snapping their photos. A group shot at the end of, say, Christmas Day seems rather understated. Too often, I feel like the paparazzi. What are your thoughts?
— Shutterbug in Colorado
My “thought” is that you are very considerate. In addition, I think that before snapping a picture it's polite to ask the subjects if they would LIKE to be included in the shot, or take a moment to put on some lipstick, a hat or pose with their “better side” to the camera. (It's also a surefire way for anyone in witness protection to move out of range of the camera.)
Happy Father's Day to fathers everywhere — birth fathers, stepfathers, adoptive and foster fathers, grandfathers and all of those caring men who mentor children and fill the role of absent dads.
P.S.: Also, a big shout-out to dual-role moms. I applaud you all — today and every day.
— Love, Abby
The SoCal Indie Bestseller List for the sales week ended June 12is based on reporting from the independent booksellers of Southern California, the California Independent Booksellers Alliance and IndieBound. For an independent bookstore near you, visit IndieBound.org.
HARDCOVER FICTION
1. Nightcrawling: Leila Mottley
2. This Time Tomorrow: Emma Straub
3. The Midnight Library: Matt Haig
4. Either/Or: Elif Batuman
5. Bloomsbury Girls: Natalie Jenner
6. Sparring Partners: John Grisham
7. Time Is a Mother: Ocean Vuong
8. Lessons in Chemistry: Bonnie Garmus
9. Sea of Tranquility: Emily St. John Mandel
10. Cult Classic: Sloane Crosley
HARDCOVER NONFICTION
1. Happy-Go-Lucky: David Sedaris
“Nightcrawling,” by Leila Mottley, is the top-selling hardcover fiction release at Southern California's independent bookstores.
Lindsey Fitzharris
5. California: An American History: John Mack Faragher
6. Everybody Thought We Were Crazy: Dennis Hopper, Brooke Hayward, and 1960s Los Angeles: Mark Rozzo
7. The Palace Papers: Inside the House of Windsor — the Truth and the Turmoil: Tina Brown
8. The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse Deluxe (Yellow) Edition: Charlie Mackesy
9. Mean Baby: A Memoir of Growing Up: Selma Blair
10. How to Be Perfect: The Correct Answer to Every Moral Question: Michael Schur
MASS MARKET
Mister Bridgerton: Julia Quinn
2. Mistborn: The Final Empire: Brandon Sanderson
3. Dune: Frank Herbert
4. The Lies of Locke Lamora: Scott Lynch
5. Foundation: Isaac Asimov
6. Animal Farm: George Orwell
7. Strawberried Alive: Jenn McKinlay
8. Interview With the Vampire: Anne Rice
9. The Ocean at the End of the Lane: Neil Gaiman
10. Rebecca: Daphne Du Maurier
TRADE PAPERBACK FICTION
1. The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo: Taylor Jenkins Reid
2. Where the Crawdads Sing: Delia Owens
3. Book Lovers: Emily Henry
4. Malibu Rising: Taylor Jenkins Reid
5. Beautiful World, Where Are You: Sally Rooney
6. The Paper Palace: Miranda Cowley Heller
7. Daisy Jones & The Six: Taylor Jenkins Reid
8. People We Meet on Vacation: Emily Henry
9. Circe: Madeline Miller
10. The Alchemist: Paulo Coelho
Moon Alert: There are no restrictions to shopping or important decisions today. The moon is in Pisces.
Happy birthday for Sunday, June 19, 2022: You are a passionate person with a strong zest for life. You work hard, but you also love socializing and having a good time. You always approach things with enthusiasm. This year you will work to construct or build structures both externally and internally. Physical exercise will be helpful.
Aries (March 21-April 19): \*\*\*\* Today you'll be tempted to buy luxurious, elegant items. Actually, this is a lovely day to buy a romantic gift for someone special. (Don't leave home without a rose between your teeth.) Tonight: You're restless! Taurus (April 20-May 20): \*\*\*\* This is a romantic day for your sign. It's a wonderful day to schmooze, especially with romantic partners. However, a friend or a member of a group might do something that surprises you or catches you off guard. Tonight: an unexpected encounter.
Gemini (May 21-June 20): \*\*\*\* You love an adoring peanut gallery. Meanwhile, today is a time when secret love affairs can flourish. However, be aware that secrets might be revealed today, because something unexpected will put you in the spotlight. (Busted!) Tonight: Be careful. Cancer (June 21-July 22): \*\*\*\*\* Friendships with others and your interactions with groups will be warm and caring today. In particular, you will find it rewarding to be involved with an organization that benefits those who are less fortunate. Meanwhile, travel plans might suddenly change. Tonight: new ideas! Leo (July 23-Aug. 22): \*\*\*\* You might develop a crush on your boss or someone in authority today. Meanwhile, others might seek out your advice about how to make something look better. Stay on top of banking and shared property details to avoid a surprise. Tonight: a sudden favor?
Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): \*\*\*\* Feelings of escapism are strong today. You want to travel somewhere with white sands, turquoise waters and drinks with little parasols in them. Some of you might suddenly develop a crush on someone “different.” Today is full of possibilities and delightful surprises. Tonight: Be open-minded. Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): \*\*\*\* Keep your pockets open, because gifts and goodies might come your way today. Someone might be generous to you. Meanwhile, keep an eye on your pet to avoid mishaps or accidents. Tonight: a new health idea? Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov.
21): \*\*\*\*\* This is the perfect day for a fun outing, in particular, a romantic date. You also will feel tenderhearted with children because your idealism is aroused along with your sense of sympathy and compassion. Artists will be in touch with their muse. Tonight: a surprise invitation. Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): \*\*\*\* Your home routine might be interrupted today. A family member might surprise you. Focus on work or any task at hand that you want to complete. A workrelated romance might begin. Tonight: unexpected news. Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan.
19): \*\*\*\* This is the perfect day for romance and a special date with your main squeeze, especially this evening. If you cannot share this time with someone else, then do something special for yourself. Treat yourself! Enjoy the arts, parks, museums and beautiful surroundings. Tonight: new knowledge. Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb.
18): \*\*\*\* You will enjoy entertaining at home today. You also will enjoy doing something to make where you live look more attractive. It's the perfect day to relax in a garden or a special place that you have created that gives you pleasure. Family members will be caring and sympathetic. Tonight: a financial surprise.
Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20): \*\*\*\*\* You are sensitive to the needs and feelings of others today. You might even feel a “soul union” with someone. You will definitely appreciate the beauty of your daily surroundings, which means it's the perfect day to visit a park or someplace beautiful and inspirational. Tonight: Adventure!