Dream job also comes with not-so-dreamy work neighbor
DEAR MISS MANNERS >> I started a new job about a year ago, in a position that I've long hoped for and finally achieved. The issue I am experiencing is with a co-worker whose desk is near mine.
On top of frequent pacing, he talks to himself constantly, and it's usually of a complaining nature. He also exclaims “God!” rather often. While eating at his desk, he smacks his lips as he critiques the food to himself.
I've tried asking “Excuse me?” to let him know he's thinking out loud, but the hint doesn't seem to hit home. The use of a radio to drown out some of the comments has helped a bit, but I can't play it too loudly, especially when needing to answer the phone.
Other than the annoying habits, he's actually nice. Any suggestions?
It is endlessly confusing to Miss Manners that people who talk to themselves feel they are justified in being offended when another person responds. It seems to her that that is how communication works, and fair warning should be given if it is going to go otherwise.
She therefore suggests that you say, “I am afraid that it's difficult to focus on clients when you are speaking out loud to yourself. Perhaps you can take your conversation to another room?”
My mother-in-law is always telling me about things that I already know. I don't want to sound like a know-it-all, but unfortunately, she has lived a straight-laced life and the things that shock her are nothing new to me.
I get a lot of news and things instantly through social media, whereas she is getting it later because she reads the daily newspaper or magazines. How do I tell her I already know something without sounding like a knowit-all?
Ask for more details: “I did hear about Brexit. But tell me, what's the latest?”
There are always varying angles and different accounts to report, as well as the actual conversational part — asserting your own opinions. If politics prove to be too contentious, however, Miss Manners suggests you stick to less fraught subjects — if, that is, you can find them.
A friend of 40-plus years has again asked me not to have any contact with her married adult daughter.
Although she and her daughter are estranged, I prefer not to have any conflict, and to be impartial with family or friends who are having disagreements. In addition, I am 70 years old and do not appreciate being told who I can and cannot associate with.
“I cannot promise that, but I do swear that I will not act as a go-between or divulge any private details from either one of you.”
Miss Manners warns you, however, that once your old friend realizes that she has lost a valuable intelligence agent, she may reconsider her position.
ACROSS 1 Lead-in to “physics” or “Turf”
Bitter brewing ingredient Piece celebrating a life, briefly
Rental that always has Arizona plates in the Lower 48 God of love Ancient letter Discussion format associated with talking in circles? Candace Parker’s hoops org. Fitting Natasha’s role in “Russian Doll” Allowed by law Cosmopolitan place? Lagged behind Renounce Dance for Maria Tallchief Toothless warning
Lie, in Black vernacular King Kong and Donkey Kong “I figured it out!” Washington newspaper Eggs on a chirashi bowl NASCAR racing and others
6
10
14 15 16 17
19
20 21
22
23
24
26 30
31
33
35
36
37
38
39
43
Camera memory chip Like many punk-style leather jackets
“That’s music to my ears!” Muscles worked by scissor kicks ___ the pot (causes trouble) Tractor brand Black or
Red body of water
Peru’s capital It’s tough to swallow
Give the ___ eye
Durian’s smell, e.g. Mr., Mrs. or Mx.
Soaks or sprinkles Muscle firmness Affirmative RSVPs DOWN 1 Mystique
2 Buy stuff
3 Not slack
4 Reward for reaching home, perhaps? Clothing brand with a nautical name
___ over heels
Path for the International Space Station
Largest land carnivores
45
46
48
49
50 52
55 56
58
59
60
61
62
63
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12 13
18
22
23
25 26
27
28
29
32
Egypt-toMadagascar dir.
“1984” author George Jumper cable? Offensive Color darker than cyan Deck with a Pentacles suit
Rising and falling inflection Nocturnal mammals Small battery “___ John” (Taylor Swift song) “There’s no doubt in my mind!” Freeway restriction “Why are you mad at me?” Greek P
34 37 39
40
41 42
44 47
49 51
52 53
54
56
57
What exposure therapy can help treat, briefly Tide units? Dallas hoopsters, informally Willamette Valley’s state: Abbr.
Gawk
___ blocker (option for trans youth) Reef builders Grand ___ National Park Whole bunch To be, in French
Goes unused Vogue competitor
Brews with 6-Across Spammy Twitter account
___ chart (circular graphic)