Daily News (Los Angeles)

Parents refuse to control boy, 5

- Columnist Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com.

DEAR ABBY >> I host holiday meals for my out-of-town family. During the last one, my cousin's 5-year-old son ran up and down the upstairs hallway pretty much nonstop the entire time. The floor is ceramic tile, so when he did this, it made a huge racket and shook the house. The pounding frayed my and my husband's nerves, but we didn't say anything because I was afraid it wouldn't go over well.

In the future, I asked if he can be told we have a house rule of no running inside. I also asked if there is a game or something I can buy to keep him entertaine­d or redirect him if he starts doing it again. I was then informed that “this is just what children his age do and it is impossible to get them not to run.” Trying to compromise, I asked if it could be limited to the three-season room, the outside or the basement, and was told they probably won't come then.

My mother was just diagnosed with a serious illness, and I would hate to not have part of the family here this year because of this. Was my request out of line? Is there another solution?

— Unnerved in the Midwest

DEAR UNNERVED >> If this is “just what children his age do,” then one or both of the child's parents should take their son outside so he can burn off some of that energy. I have seen parents do this in restaurant­s when their child becomes disruptive, so it's not unheard of.

If your cousin considers this too much of a burden, then please accept that she has CHOSEN to be absent, and do NOT let it diminish your good time when the next holiday rolls around.

DEAR ABBY >> My husband and I have two kids — a 3-year-old who has seethrough pale skin and blond curls, and a 4-monthold with an olive complexion and straight brown hair. When we are out together, people often ask me if my kids have the same father. Is this a polite question? The potential answer could involve sharing intimate details of my relationsh­ip history or our fertility. No one is entitled to any of those answers in casual conversati­on, so why do they ask?

This happens so often that our preschoole­r has started to wonder aloud who her brother belongs to, if not her daddy. It makes me crazy. I have plenty of answers lined up for the impertinen­t question, but how do I keep people from asking in the first place?

— Mom of Beauties in Puerto Rico

DEAR MOM >> Your answer should be, “If you will forgive me for not answering you, I'll forgive you for asking me that.” Be sure to explain — AND REPEAT AS NEEDED — to your preschoole­r that not all siblings look alike, and her sibling ABSOLUTELY belongs to her daddy AND TO HER.

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