Drama leads to wedding tension

Dear Annie: My daughter is marrying a widower, “Hank,” with three children. The problem is with “Gail,” the mother of his late wife.

Gail is not very nice to my daughter. She purposely calls her the wrong name. She says she does this because my daughter’s name reminds her of her daughter.

Gail has done other things — such as pull the children out of school after being told not to. She has taken them to doctors and dentists for appointments without talking to my daughter or their father. She has been asked to back off some.

The issue is that my daughter decided not to invite Gail to the wedding. This is intended to be a special day about the bride and groom. My daughter was concerned that Gail might speak ill of her to other guests, as has happened on other occasions. The invitations were sent out, and Gail immediately wanted to know where hers was. My daughter explained, as nicely as possible, that she was not invited. My daughter was immediately met with mean, hateful comments.

Gail then called the grandkids’ paternal grandmother — Hank’s mom — and complained to her for 40 minutes.

The wedding had to be rescheduled due to COVID

19, and the delay has put the issue back to square one. Gail has started all over, assuming she will get an invitation. Is my daughter wrong to exclude her? — Wedding Drama

Dear Wedding Drama: If you have to ask the question, you probably know the answer. Yes. While Gail’s behavior does sound a bit intrusive, try to remember where she is coming from. She lost her daughter. Try to show compassion for Gail. Your daughter and Hank should have a very direct conversation with Gail, explaining that they will not tolerate drama on their special day and that she is invited only on the condition that she meet their kindness with kindness.