Man is tired of being single

Dear Annie: I am a 41-yearold single man who has pretty much given up on intimate relationships. I don’t know what it is about me. I just cannot seem to find a relationship to settle down into. It’s not to say I haven’t had any. I have had some long-term relationships, but truth be known, I stayed in them longer than I should have because I just don’t like being single. I would venture as far as to say one of them that was over five years long was with someone I was no longer attracted to. It just seems that, no matter what I do, when I meet a woman who I do like, it goes nowhere. I just always end up in the “friend zone” with women I actually have an interest in. Everyone always tells me to be patient, and that my time will come. But I am 41 and the clock is ticking.

I would like to have a small family someday, and I would also like to do it soon. I have no qualms about dating women with children, as I love kids. I have tried all the typical dating sites and apps. I am a non-drinker so I don’t frequent bars or anything. So my options, especially now with COVID-19, are sort of limited. Do I need to just keep being patient? — Lost and Alone

Dear Lost and Alone: You sound like a great person who is dealing with some negative and excessive expectations. Before jumping into anything else, consider examining the fiveyear relationship you were in. Why did you stay so long when you were not attracted to her? Then, look at how the women you are attracted to always end up in the friend zone. It might be that you are only attracted to what you can’t have. And if someone is attracted to you and wants to be in a relationship with you, you lose interest. Seek the help of a therapist who can help you figure out what you are looking for and who you’d like to be in a relationship. My guess is that she is just around the corner, and it is up to you to allow yourself to let her in.