Annoyed by nosy ‘friend’

Dear Harriette: I have a “friend” who watches everything that’s going on. I noticed how she was checking me and my husband out all summer. When we would have an argument, she was there, generally being supportive of us, but it was a little weird. She began to anticipate what our issues were and to say things about us, never to criticize us, but it did feel a little creepy because she just seemed to be paying too close of attention to us. Wewere around each other a lot, because we live in the same area during the summer. I’m not quite sure what to make of her behavior. She is single, but still, why was she checking us out so hard? Should I ask her? — Crossing the Line

Dear Crossing the Line: Given that you didn’t say anything to this woman in the moment when you noticed her observing you so keenly, my vote is for you to leave it alone. Clearly you two were interesting to her, and she enjoyed observing you. Thank goodness she did not try to stir up arguments or discontent. It sounds like she was solo during your time together, so being able to observe your dynamics fascinated her.

I think you should let it go. If you connect again, that’s when you can try to set some ground rules. Pull her to the side and tell her you noticed how much she was watching you and your husband, and you would like to establish a bit of distance this time. It may be awkward at first, but you can reinforce it by stopping her when she begins to state her observations about you.