Harmony with opposite sex may strengthen relationship
Imagine a world where men and women have strong friendships, good dating experiences and lasting marriages. People might be so happy, global tension could be reduced.
Creating harmony with the opposite sex would mean families would stay intact — at least to a larger degree than the 50% marriage success rate we see now.
Most of us can laugh at our own crazy treatment of the opposite sex. We once argued with our teenage boyfriend, broke a few dishes in the first years of marriage and vowed we could live without a mate or a date.
“I just got elected to my condo association’s board of directors,” says a young sales director we’ll call Shawn. “The first order of business was cooling domestic violence at some of the units.”
Shawn told us, “I went ahead and confessed my sins. My girlfriend and I had broken up the month before. I told the new board, ‘Yes, I threw her stuff out on the lawn. I shouldn’t have done it, but I did.’ You could have heard a pin drop.”
Throughout the ages, men and women have clashed. Two people who live and love in close proximity are going to get on each other’s nerves.
These tips can help:
Memorize the likes and dislikes of your mate. This is the foundation of all good relationships, whether between
two men, two women, a married couple, or business partners. You have to work with the truth, being sensitive at every step, whatever that requires.
Give someone support on your mate’s true weaknesses. For example, if your wife always loses her keys, buy her a brightly-colored key ring and put a key hanging bar in your kitchen. Help her park the keys before she loses them.
Help your mate or date stay ahead of schedule. For instance, if your
husband needs to prepare for an online job training exam, why not ask if you can help him study?
Or, maybe you could help him eat well the night before, plus encourage him to eat a nice breakfast the day of the exam. A sacrifice? Sure, but it makes your own life go more smoothly to support your significant other.
Don’t say things you can’t take back. Few of us attack with actual weapons, but words can hit like a fist. Stating an ugly truth is never justifiable.
Instead, package the truth in something a little softer.
“My husband is overweight,” says a dental hygienist we’ll call Debra. “His doctor called me aside and asked if I could initiate a better exercise and eating plan.”
At first, Debra was angry. She didn’t want to take responsibility for her husband’s health. But upon thinking about it, she knew she had to nicely take control. After all, he is the father of her three children.
“If men and women
could support each other emotionally, I think I could leave the family counseling business,” laughs a psychologist we’ll call Martin, who is 68.
“It dawned on me that girls and boys in my generation were largely separated from middle school on,” he points out.
He continues, “In the late ’60s, girls and boys did not play sports together. We were not encouraged to have discussions. We each stood back until flirting took over and we re-connected in something like 10th grade.”
Martin summarizes, “Something needs to change. Building friendships between young boys and girls would help them build solid relationships as adult men and women. They would understand each other a lot better.”