A bonding moment to cherish
There’s nothing like a father’s love for his child. Yes, you’ll have your battles along the way. You’ll experience their failures and success. But nothing makes you prouder than when you see them do well.
But according to a recent study by the U.S. Census Bureau, 18.3 million children – 1 in 4 – live without the physical presence of a father in the home. The impact of that can be seen in our homes, schools, hospitals and prisons.
That’s why Ronnie Ratliff, an assistant football coach at Norcom High in Portsmouth, takes his role as a father so seriously. And this season, he’s relishing the opportunity to coachhis sons, JaRon, 16, and Jaden, 15.
It’s something that he cherishes and doesn’t take lightly. But he also knows many children — including some of those he coaches — go without that father figure and relationship in their life.
“There’s nothing like being a father and watching your children grow,” Ratliff said. “Like I tell people all the time, fatherhood goes under wraps sometimes. But fatherhood is the most amazing thing ever.”
Too often, however, children go without their father being present.
I grew up without my father in the house. I got to see him during summer vacations and talk to him often, but there’s nothing like having a father in your
life every day. I know how it affected me.
But when my father came to my sporting events, I always gave him something to talk about.
I remember when he showed up at one of my youth baseball games. Excited to see him, I went out there and stole second and third base. Then, I tried to steal home by jumping over the catcher. Not a good move, but I was excited to have my father there and wanted to show him how much his presence meant to me.
I also remember another time when he came to my college championship track meet in Ohio. He came a day earlier than I expected. I wasn’t seeded to make the finals of my race. But with him there, I not only beat several athletes who had beaten me earlier that season, but made the finals and earned all-conference honors.
Don’t tell me a father’s presence doesn’t make a difference.
That’s why when I became a father, I tried to make every game, dance recital, piano lesson, school awards program, Christmas program, talent show, anything.
Ratliff knows this all too well.
“I tell fathers, don’t miss the moments and the experiences,” he said. “Be involved. Be there every day because you help initiate them to be great.”
Children appreciate it, too, even if they don’t act like it at the moment. But they’ll understand later, especially when they see how many of their friends and teammates don’t have what they have.
JaRon, a junior, said his father has always been his coach. And through that bond, JaRon said his father has instilled confidence in him.
“It’s very cool because we talk about football a lot, and it’s good to have him on the field with me,” said JaRon, who plays wide receiver and cornerback. “He’s very hard on me because sometimes I would slack off and he would get on me. But it’s cool to have him out there with me.”
Jaden, a freshman, also appreciates his father as a coach.
“It’s cool because I played with him last year on JV, so we’re real close,” said Jaden, a wide receiver and strong safety who recently received a scholarship offer from Maryland. “It’s fun playing with my brother and having our dad as a coach.”
But having your father as a coach also comes with pressure.
“Through my whole life, I’ve had people say that I’m only where I’m at because my dad is the coach,” JaRon said. “That’s why I’m always grinding whenever I get a chance because me and my brother have to show everybody that it’s not because our dad is the coach, but because we have the talent.”
The Ratliffs aren’t alone in Hampton Roads.
Great Bridge High coach Brian Boerboom has traveled this road, too. He coached his sons, Jake and Nate — Jake at Stetson University and Nate at Great Bridge.
“When I coached at Stetson, our son, Jake, was on the team,” Boerboom said. “He was a linebacker and I was the offensive line coach, so I got to see him every day, which was awesome.”
When Boerboom moved to Hampton Roads, he said it was “gratifying” to coach Nate, now a freshman tight end at Central Florida.
“I watched him grow up from the youngest of six kids into a team leader and having a work ethic that I was very, very proud of,” he said. “He knew my high expectations on the field, weight room, etc., and met them.”
Boerboom said the experience of being able to coach his son is one he’ll never forget.
“I am sure we have a stronger bond because of the trials we went through together,” he said. “We did a lot of stuff together. I am very glad that I had the opportunity to coach my son in the sport we both love.”
Ratliff and his wife, Shanikka, are making sure to enjoy the same experience while they can.
“This is a blessing that a lot of people aren’t able to do,” he said. “Just the experience of coming home and breaking down film together. That’s an awesome thing. It’s just a good bonding moment.”