Friend always wants to meet near her
Dear Harriette: My best friend lives in East Los Angeles, and I live in the Valley. Whenever we hang out, she usually suggests that we do things on her side of town because the Valley “doesn’t have a nightlife scene.” I don’t mind taking the drive every once in a while, but most of the time she wants to drink. Because of the drive I have to make, I don’t get to drink with her. I don’t think that this is fair, but I don’t want to make it into a big issue. How can we compromise? — Meet Halfway
Dear Meet Halfway: It’s smart that you are thinking hard on this one. Drinking and driving is dangerous, as you know, and Los Angeles has very strict penalties for those who break the rules. Even more, you want to be safe.
Talk to your friend and tell her what your concern is. You do not always want to be the one who can’t hang out. Do your research to learn if there are any fun places in your neighborhood where she might want to visit. Invite her to try one of them. You may also consider doing sleepovers on the nights that you do hang out. For safety, think about going to your friend’s house, dropping off both cars and getting a car service to take you to the bar. Sleep at her house and then drive home sober the next day. The same could work when you go out in the Valley.
Dear Harriette: I have been going out more to social events for work and with friends. It’s still kind of scary to be around people, though. People start out wearing masks but inevitably take them off, especially if there are food and drinks being served. All the events I have attended required proof of vaccination and a photo ID, so I know the establishments are trying to keep people safe. I still keep my distance, though, and I don’t shake hands. I offer my elbow or just kind of bow my head in acknowledgment. Some people are quick to lean in and want to hug and kiss. How can I get people to keep their distance in these public settings? — Step Back
Dear Step Back: Your stance and overall posture can help you to get others to keep their distance. Do not reach out toward them or lean in to be available for any type of embrace. Offer your elbow and say this is how you are comfortable greeting people right now. Literally step back when you notice someone coming in for a physical greeting. Cross your arms over your chest or clasp your hands behind your back. Do what you must to block people who are coming in too close for your comfort.
When the crowd swells, stay on the perimeter so that you can breathe and make a quick exit, if needed.