Client wants employee to hide her hair

Dear Harriette: I started my event planning business from the ground up. I never discriminate against clients, employees or anyone who shows interest in working with me. The other day I received an online complaint from a client about the hairstyle of one of my employees. She wanted to be sure that my employee would hide her brightly colored hair for her event. She wrote, “The event is a black-tie formal, and the loud colors in her hair will clash with the theme.” What should I do? I do not want to tell my employee that her hair color is an issue. — Client Complaints

Dear Client Complaints:

This is a tricky one, especially because in the service industry, “the customer is always right.” You can check the laws in your state to be 100% clear about whether you have the legal right to allow (or disallow) your employee to wear her brightly colored hair to the event in question.

But I would consider a different approach. I do not think it will be discrimination for you to speak to your employee and tell her of the complaint about her hair color. Just like some events require employees to wear a uniform, perhaps your employee can wear a head covering that does not damage her hair but does subdue or cover it for the event.

Dear Harriette: My girlfriend does not believe in shaving her armpit hair, and it’s starting to become an issue. She believes that shaving armpit hair is unnatural and conformist. She didn’t have these beliefs when we first started dating, so I feel that it’s unfair for her to expect me to have no problem with it now. I’m afraid to ask her to shave because I don’t want to seem like I do not support this journey (although I do find it questionable). What can I do? — Girlfriend Going Natural

Dear Girlfriend Going Natural: If you and your girlfriend stay together long enough, there will be other times where you disagree. Usually, these things resolve over time. Either you grow to accept the change, or you make decisions based on how to move forward over time.

In this case, make it clear to your girlfriend how you feel about her underarm hair. Figure out why you feel the way you do, and express that to her. If it is purely aesthetics, you may ask her not to wear sleeveless tops. If she takes offense to your request, let her know why you are reacting so strongly. Do you find her to be less attractive? Can you try to look past the hair and look at the woman you love as a whole person?

One thing is certain: In a long-term relationship, the way you both look will change. That includes hairstyles, body shape and size, and even body hair. If possible, be patient and allow this moment to pass. You will see what comes of the underarm hair after your girlfriend goes through her own evolution on this topic.