Worker questions boss relationship

Dear Harriette: I work for a woman who is so tough. At first, I thought this was great. She has risen up the ranks in our company and is one of the only women at the top. She is almost impossible to talk to. I have never seen even a glimmer of compassion or kindness. If you mess up on anything, you are guaranteed to be reprimanded publicly.

I have been with the company for about a year now and have lived through a fair amount of her wrath. Most people don’t stick around too long. Should I get her to warm up to me? Or should I move on when the opportunity presents itself? Very few people move up the food chain here. It’s almost like she only values leaders who come from somewhere else. — Worth It?

DearWorth It?: Doa deeper dive into the company’s promotion history. Determine whether your perception is reality — or not. If no employees are moving up and no one — or virtually no employee — has been promoted to leadership, then you can assume it’s not likely to happen for you. That doesn’t mean you have to leave. You could dare to work to build a relationship with your tough boss. Ask her what you can do to grow in her company. Ask how she built her career and what advice she has for you to follow in her footsteps. Go for it and see if she is willing to teach and support you.

Dear Harriette: I recently sent my teenage daughter to stay with my sister for a week. This was her first time visiting, and unfortunately she didn’t have a good time. I ended up flying her back home early. My daughter expressed that my sister didn’t seem like she wanted her there and that they didn’t do anything fun. I called my sister, and she pretty much confirmed that that was true. This was surprising to me as my sister has two kids of her own, and whenever they visit me, I make sure they have the best time ever. I’m not sure why my sister wouldn’t do the same for my daughter. I feel frustrated and disappointed. Am I wrong for assuming that my sister would have tried to show my kid a good time? — Disappointed Sister

Dear Disappointed Sister:

You have every reason to have assumed that your sister would have cared for your daughter more thoughtfully during her visit. Did you two agree on the time that your daughter would come? Is there something going on in your sister’s life that has her distracted? Find out what’s going on.

Call your sister and ask her why she didn’t make your daughter’s time with her more meaningful. Listen to see what she says. Then point out that you know she knows that kids want to be engaged and do things. Remind her of how you tended to her children when they visited you. Tell your sister how her lack of care for your daughter made you both feel. Think twice about sending her back.