Burning questions on racing’s hot topics

We get letters, emails, troubling texts, and messages in empty bourbon bottles. Sometimes it’s best to let them float away. But then there are the questions worth answering.

“Dear Mr. Know-It-All – I’m watching this Royal Ascot deal and it looks pretty cool. Why can’t we have something like this in America where all the best horses run at the same time and we all get to dress up like extras in ‘My Fair Lady,’ which if you don’t know is a movie where Audrey Hepburn didn’t do her own singing?” – R. Starkey, Liverpool, N.Y.

It is a little known historical fact that, in addition to the part about opposing slavery, the writers of our Declaration of Independence also had to delete a line that went something like “henceforth, we hold that the dress, manner, traditions, and grating accents of our former oppressors shall not only be discouraged in the public square, but outlawed where possible.” Alas, the latent royalists got their way, and ever since then we colonials have had a serious case of Anglo-envy, to which racing people are not immune.

England has a queen who would always rather be racing. I maintain the United States won’t get a Royal Ascot kind of national event until its leaders start paying attention to the ponies like Her Majesty has been doing for the past 66 years. The last president to attend the Kentucky Derby was Richard Nixon. Case dismissed.

“Hey there. Help me with something – Can you nutshell the two sides of the argument over the Barr-Tonko bill in Congress that would put U.S. racing under one set of rules with horse drug testing in the hands of the same people who do the Olympics? I spent a couple hours watching that committee hearing Friday morning in Washington and came away more confused than the committee members.” – Y. Doodle, Boston, Mass.

The bill is basically camouflage for a raceday ban on Lasix, and if you want to go there, good luck with the ensuing economic havoc. That’s one side.

The bill will do quickly what individual states have taken forever to enact in terms of uniformity, and a ban on Lasix will stop racing people in other countries from laughing at us. That’s the other.

Stuart Janney, chairman of The Jockey Club, told the panel that horse buyers from abroad are starting to balk at buying American because of Lasix. He cited the anecdotal experience of a colleague who told Janney that, “At those forums, always the other international bodies say, “Why should we accredit your races in the United States when you run on race-day medications?’ ” So, in a nutshell, follow the dollars. “Dear Left-Coaster – I see where there were a couple of movies out recently that had something to do with horses, but neither one was about Seabiscuit so they tanked at the box office. I’m sure you saw them, because what else do you have to do. Were they not terrible?” – S. Fitzgerald, Rockville, Md.

In fact, they were terrific. “Lean on Pete” is a tough, spare tale of a young man whose chaotic life is given welcome relief in the company of a low-rent Quarter Horse. The filmmakers got just about everything right in the hand-to-mouth world of racing on the distant margins, and Steve Buscemi nails the part of the trainer no one would ever hire. “Lean on Pete” might be too unsentimental for some, but the kid comes out okay in the end, which was far from guaranteed.

The hero of “The Rider” is a bronc-busting prodigy who gets his head stepped on while at work. The vistas are magnificent, the acting is semi-pro and sincere, and the message is universal: What happens when what you are is taken away? Again, the answer is worth the tough but honest ride.

“Mr. Krone – I rarely pay attention to the selections made by anyone who has to work at something else for a living, like writing a column. I couldn’t help noticing, though, that you picked against Justify in all three legs of the Triple Crown. How extensive are your head injuries?” D. Rickles.

Very funny. So I believed in the Curse of Apollo. So shoot me. I also believe in the Valley of the Dolls, the Hound of the Baskervilles, and the Mountains of the Moon. What are we without our mythologies?

As for Justify, I guess I kept waiting for the other horseshoe to drop on his lack of experience. But it never did, and by now he is without a doubt the toughest, most experienced colt of his generation. I hope we get to see him run again.

“Dear Wet Blanket – Will we ever see Justify run again? – Biff Boffert, Nogales, Ariz.

Let’s let the invisible hand of capitalism work its magic and allow the muscle-bound interests in Justify’s world to do their math and decide if the risks of continued training and racing outweigh the rewards dangled by the Coolmore lads of Ireland.

In the meantime, let us simply enjoy the Triple Crown afterglow and turn our attention to the summer and autumn ahead. Justify, if he could answer, would want fans to pay attention now to Unique Bella, Monomoy Girl, Bee Jersey, Abel Tasman, Accelerate, Oscar Performance, City of Light, Mind Your Biscuits, Roy H, Good Magic, and the onrushing wave of 2-year-olds with stars in their eyes.